The squirrel army is about 150 stuffed squirrels, all killed and stuffed by the Janitor. This got his taxidermy license taken away from him. He now runs the army like a council, even to the point of taking votes from the squirrels.
- Troy (voted twice at the next to last meeting)
- Dwayne (take your complaints to him)
- Gregg (known for interrupting during meetings)
- Kyle (the newest, and last, member)
- “Everyone thinks squirrel armies are so great. I'm not sure it's the healthiest habit in the world.”— Janitor to Carla ("My First Kill")
- Troy is known for voting twice in the council votes.
- In "My First Kill", the Janitor adds a new member, Kyle.
- The Squirrel Army is subsequently traded over the internet for Steven, the replacement for Rowdy.