Robert Kelso

“What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso! How ya doin'.”— Dr. Kelso

Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso was the Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart Hospital from 1985 until he willingly retired. He was in medicine for many years, including during the Vietnam War, until he turned 65 and quit his job. He stayed in Coffee Bucks for the next year, enjoying free muffins. He entered family practice locum tenens until Enid's passing, when he began teaching at Winston University.

As Chief of Medicine, he was seemingly desensitized by the death around him and was forced to make tough financial decisions without care of consequence to the patients or staff. He does have a sweet side, brought about by a dire situation or food. He is also a womanizer and has had many mistresses.

Dr. Kelso is portrayed by Ken Jenkins, who has appeared in 174 episodes of Scrubs over all nine seasons. He was a main cast member for the first eight seasons, appearing in the pilot. His last episode was the penultimate "Our Driving Issues". It is assumed that Kelso is still partially retired and teaching classes on the side.

About

My Chopped Liver — Dr. Kelso in his office. ("My Life in Four Cameras")

At Sacred Heart

Bob Kelso was the Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart Hospital from before 2001 to 2008. He worked as a medical doctor at the hospital for several years before receiving the promotion. Around the hospital, he is known for being a stickler for the budget and insensitive about patient or staff issues. Dr. Cox often challenged Bob on budget cuts and staff decisions, and sometimes Carla and the nurses stand against him as well. He is a doctor in a business man's job, and ultimately has to answer to the board of directors.

4x7antidepressants — Food, or antidepressants can make Kelso happy. ("My Common Enemy")

The Softer Side of Kelso

Although Kelso often gets a bad rep as being mean or insensitive, he can actually be sweet and nice. This side of him is only seen on rare occasions, but it can be acknowledged that he does want the best for his staff and patients. The staff has determined that his cold attitude has stemmed from having to deal with death and illness for his entire life. Kelso has also been shown to make his business decisions with the best intentions for the patients as a whole, such as when he placed wealthy patient in a drug trial over a patient of J.D. and Dr. Cox, in hopes the patient would donate money to the hospital so that he could reopen the "babymobile" to provide free prenatal care to underprivileged women, which the hospital recently had to discontinue. Kelso occasionally bends the rules and lends a helping hand when the staff needs it most and has admitted to looking the other way when doctors and nurses would use bureaucratic loopholes to treat patients without adequate insurance, such as they did with his friend Maggie Kent. This was later lamented upon by the staff during Taylor Maddox's tenure as Chief of Medicine, who made policies to crack down on such things. The quickest way to his heart is through his stomach, as he loves food.

3x5 Baxter — Kelso with Baxter. ("My Brother, Where Art Thou?")

Family Life

Bob Kelso was married to his wife Enid Kelso for 44 years, who was a wheelchair-bound overweight paraplegic. There was a rumor that once a year, on their anniversary, he and his wife slept together. The result was that a day afterward Dr. Kelso is in a 'good mood', during which you can ask him for anything and you'll get it. Only Turk knows that this is just a ruse by Kelso to keep people from asking for things any other day of the year. Enid was at a fat camp during this time. ("My Case Study") His loves his pet dogs very much, and was very sad when Baxter died. ("My Chopped Liver")

Dr. Kelso has a gay son, Harrison, who has been a source of torment to Kelso. He often cites his son's actions when commenting on others' problems. Although he constantly complains about his son's action, he seems to harbor at least some affection for him; this is shown when he punishes Dr. Cox for bad-mouthing him, even in passing. And even says he is "proud" of Harrison and that he's a "good kid".

1x03kelsoseduction — Kelso, in a fantasy, seduces Elliot. ("My Best Friend's Mistake")

Love Life

Kelso had his hands full with Enid, but he also seemingly had a few other illegitimate families he keeps on the side. He has had many mistresses, mainly prostitutes, and even a Vietnamese son, Trong Tri whom he is putting through school. The family member who receives most of Kelso's love was his dog, Baxter; an Australian shepherd who was aggressive towards his wife, Enid. Both Baxter and Enid have passed away.

Dr. Kelso leaves Sacred Heart on his last day. ("My Dumb Luck")

Leaving Sacred Heart

In 2007, he turned 65 and was told that he had no choice but to retire. After Elliot and Carla got Dr. Cox to convince the board to keep him, Kelso decided to quit on his own terms. He grabbed his portrait, thanked Ted for his years of loyalty, and drove away from Sacred Heart. ("My Dumb Luck") He returns to Sacred Heart on a regular basis, however, to eat the free muffins he won from Coffee Bucks. ("My Jerks") After feeling self conscious about hanging around Coffee Bucks all day, Kelso ventures off claiming to go traveling with Enid. However, it is revealed that he does not have enough money to travel as he wishes, and is content hanging around Coffee Bucks. ("My Happy Place") Although he enjoys his retirement, including the ability to stay in the Bahamas for an extended amount of time, he misses being a doctor. ("My Cuz") He has entertained the idea of temporarily working in family practice. ("My Chief Concern") He left Coffee Bucks to pursue working in family practice locum tenens on the same day J.D. left Sacred Heart, and Bob stole his favorite table and chairs from Coffee Bucks as a memento. ("My Finale")

9x6 Turk Kelso — Kelso at Winston U's cafeteria. ("Our New Girl-Bro")

As a Professor

After Enid's passing, Kelso returned to work so he doesn't have to sit at home alone. He is currently teaching courses at Winston University and chasing women. ("Our First Day of School") After one of the students drops out of med school, Kelso claimed his dorm room for himself, calling it his "love nest." He says that it is too awkward to bring home women to have sex in Enid's bed.

Relationships

Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox and Kelso are often at odds. ("My Common Enemy")

Kelso's relationship with Perry Cox is a strange one. It's made up of one part hate and loathing and one part grudging respect. At times Kelso will do anything in his power to bring the hammer down on Cox, and other times they will be seen eating together and making fun of others. While Kelso does admit that Cox is a good doctor, he has no patience for the fact that Cox cannot just 'play the game' like everyone else, and instead goes by his own rules. The two of them often fight over new staff members, one trying to turn them against the other. Ever since Kelso retired, the position no longer gets in the way of their communication. They become "secret friends," which Kelso says has "all the trill of an affair, but without all that exhausting sex." They occasionally talk outside of the hospital, and Cox sometimes looks to him for advice. ("My New Role")

My Happy Place — Kelso gives J.D. and Elliot advice. ("My Saving Grace")

J.D.

Dr. Kelso's relationship with J.D. is very similar to his relationship with everyone else, excluding Dr. Cox and Carla. He treats him with apathy, very rarely valuing his opinion, and is usually happy to see him in distress. In one of the 'his story' episodes, however, Kelso thinks to himself that he is actually somewhat fond of J.D., imagining him as the perfect life-partner for his son, if he were gay. ("His Story IV"). And on J.D.'s last day at Sacred Heart, the two converse on what J.D. thought his ideal last day would be; though he couldn't match his expectations, Dr. Kelso offers a handshake and wishes J.D. the best of luck.

3x15 Kelso vs nurses — Carla and Kelso face off. ("My Tormented Mentor")

Carla

Dr. Kelso's relationship with Carla Espinosa started when she began temporarily getting rides to work with him and the two bonded outside of work where he admired her 'sassy' nature. However, Carla soon found being friends with Kelso alienated her from the nurses and Kelso began treating her as harshly as before to help her. Their current relationship is currently unmentioned on the show, but it appears to be back to the normal Kelso/Employee status.

Elliot is nervous around Kelso. ("My Dirty Secret")

Elliot

Bob Kelso especially enjoys tormenting Elliot Reid. He constantly tries to undermine her confidence and self-worth, mocking her work decisions and lifestyle choices. She was at first extremely sensitive to this, and didn't think she could handle it. She has since become used to Dr. Kelso and has even gone as far as to openly mock him in his presence. For several episodes in Season 6 Dr Kelso stopped speaking to Elliot when she left Sacred Heart to become a Private Practice doctor. He has since gone back to insulting her as a doctor.

1x10bench — Turk and Kelso argue over a bench. ("My Nickname")

Turk

Dr. Kelso's relationship with Christopher Turk is much like his relationship with everyone else, with the exception of his use of the name "Turk Turkelton", which he insists is Turk's real name since he first used it after getting drunk at Turk's wedding. The "Turkleton" name has also been used by several other characters, including Jordan, who might have heard it from Kelso. The "Turkelton" name has actually been transferred to Carla as well. Previously Kelso would refer to Carla as Nurse Espinosa, currently though, he greets her as "Nurse Turkelton". Kelso has admitted that Turk is the best surgeon in Sacred Heart. ("My Cuz")

7x10 Ted cleans Kelso's car — Kelso often abuses Ted's service. ("My Waste of Time")

Ted

Ted Buckland is Kelso's personal punching bag. He takes every opportunity to crush Ted's confidence and even going as far as pushing him to attempted suicide after reminding him that his accumulated vacation time expired. However, before he left for his retirement he sincerely thanked Ted for everything. He also gathered some of New Sacred Heart's employees to see Ted off when he left to tour the nation with Gooch.

Nurse Laverne

Dr. Kelso seems to despise Laverne Roberts as much as any nurse yet a long time ago he and nurse Roberts 'did it' once. 'He likes him some brown sugar', Carla's vision of Laverne Roberts explains to Carla while she is in a coma. However, this may not be true seeing as Laverne was so against sex before marriage. Although this may have been before Laverne became religious.

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