The following is a transcript of the Scrubs: Interns webisode "Our Meeting with Turk and the Todd".

Title Sequence

Sacred Heart: Ward

Sunny: Dr. Turk is talking to us how to navigate the relationship between the medical side, that's us, and the surgical side. That's the surgeons.

Turk: I think it's important to realize that most of the contentious stuff between surgical and medical is all good fun.

Katie: Really? Cause yesterday, Dr. Beardface stole my sports bra. How is that funny?

Turk: Actually, Katie, it's not. Dr. Beardface is going through a gender identity crisis and I think it'd be cool if you guys were just a little understanding. For example, Howie, I understand, he invited you to dinner yesterday.

Howie: Oh, it was drinks, actually.

Turk: Ok, if you say "no", could you please say "no" nicely? Anyway, to understand how the two sides can interact better, I brought my boy, Dr. Quinlan here. (silence). Todd, that's you.

Todd: Oh, right, you got a stain (prank to Sunny). (Hilarious Todd-laugh) Oldest trick in the book five. I got it (Todd high-five's himself)

Denise: You, you have something right there (same prank to Todd). Ah, you're as dumb as a log, aren't you?

Todd: We're cool, and you're nerds. Remember it.

Turk: Todd, that's a stereotype. It's not... what we're trying to do here. Yes, maybe medicals are more cerebral, but you know we do some stuff like we cut people open, we pull out spleens, we...

Todd: We give women bigger cans. Ah, I could help you out, pro bono, if you like

Sunny (whispering): I'll talk to you later.

Turk: Ok! (Turk passes Todd away). My point is, we're different and we should all get along, alright?

Howie: Like wizards and warlocks.

Turk: Like wizards and warlocks, Howie. Exactly. Taken out of context, you sound like a dork. But I only say that, because, you know, my best friend's in medical.

Denise: Is he a dork?

Turk: You know Dr. Dorian?

Denise: Yeah!

Turk: Then I'm forced to say yes, he is... a dork.

Scrubs:Interns Theme song

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