The following is a transcript of the Scrubs: Interns webisode "Our Intern Class". Sacred Heart - Rear Entrance
Sunny: Hey! I'm Sunny. I'm a new intern here at Sacred Heart and I thought I'd be fun to make a video diary of my first year. But don't worry. It's not gonna be like one of those boring things where people just sit there and talk right into the camera. See, in college I double majored in Pre-Med and film. So I actually know how to put together some pretty rad stuff. Like this! Check it!
Sunny: Those are the other interns, but you know who you should meet first? Me! Freeze Frame!
Freeze Frame - Sonja narrating
Sunny: Hi! Down here! Ok, so my full name is Sonja Day, but everyone calls me Sunny. My dad nicknamed me that because he said my smile brightens up a room. Oh, see! Dad loves puns. Dad's an ass.
Freeze Frame End
Sunny: Now let's go meet the others.
Sacred Heart - Hallway
Katie: Do you want a "hey girl" or a "what up girlfriend"?
Sunny: "What up girlfriend"
Katie: Ok, ready? What up girlfriend!
Freeze Frame - Sonja narrating
Sunny: Katie's nice, in that real fake "I'd gladly stab you in the back right away" kind of way. But that's ok! I still love it!
Freeze Frame End
Sacred Heart - Nurses' Station
Sunny: And here's Howie. Hey Howie, I'm making a video diary.
Howie: That's fascinating.
Sunny: Ok. Howie doesn't get a freeze frame because he's being snarky.
Howie: Fine. I'll do it myself, ok?
Sunny: Ok, moving on. Ok, I only have a picture of Ed because he never shows up on time and, ohh. There's Denise. I think she's going to be my new besty, which, by the way, is a new way of saying BFF.
Denise: If you try to make me part of your lame little home movies, I'm actually going to beat you up. Seriously I'm going to make everyone form a circle around us.
Sunny: A fun circle?
Denise: No, not a fun circle. Seriously, I'm warning you.
Freeze Frame - Sonja Narrating
Sunny: So that's Denise. I'm whispering because she's actually right over there.
Denise: What are you, what're you doing? Are you talking about me?
Sunny: No, uh I'm actually just making a video diary for my mom.
Denise: Ahhh, that's so sweet. Your daughter's annoying.
Freeze Frame End
Sunny: Ok. That's most everybody, so let's go to orientation.
Sacred Heart - Classroom
Ted: Ok, the hospital does not want to be sued. Being sued is not a good thing. Now if you make a mistake, don't tell the patient. Of course if the patient is deceased, and you're sure, you can feel free to tell him or her anything. Ok, riff on how they're going to have a good time. Pick up mom's dry cleaning. Ok, so, uh, you're going to have a real good time! It's going to be really good time.
Dr. Cox: (enters the room) Riveting stuff, Ted. I'm shocked that you're still single. Ok, here is the real dope. This year is going to be hell. You're going to be overworked and underpaid. We're going to treat you like crap and some of you won't be coming back.
Sunny: (to camera) I still think it's going to be great.
Dr. Cox: Who said that? It's not going to be great. Not for you, not for the patients that you practically kill every time you administer treatment, and definitely not for me as I occassionally have to interact with you. It will be, as always, a complete and utter suck-fest. I hope you enjoyed orientation.
Sacred Heart - Supply Room
Sunny: After Dr. Cox confiscated my camera, a nice Janitor offered to sell me one real cheap. Turned out it was mine! What are the odds? You know, that's what I like about this hospital, it's not just the medicine that's cool here, it's the other stuff that no one knows about. Like, you know that weird, sweaty lawyer? He has a band. (opens door to bathroom, Worthless Peons are practicing) Hey guys! Do you want to do the theme song for my intern video diary?
Ted: Uh, nah, it sounds like a lot of work.
Sunny: Ah, come on. I'll give you ten bucks!
Ted: Sweet mother of Mary! That's three bucks more than our rate! We're in.
Worthless Peons: (singing) Don't tell me, you're trying to sell me your take on my song. I get it, as long as I let it, life's gonna be long. And I'm still learnin' so I can turn it around. Just tell me what to do! I'll do it! And I'll be bringing on what it takes to fight! Don't tell me that I won't get through it, it started out all wrong, but I'll make it right!
