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It's not cancer-cancer. That stuff's only for uglies.Cole

"Our Driving Issues" is the twelfth episode of Scrubs' ninth season. Cole is diagnosed with skin cancer and Lucy tries to rally the troops to support him. Dr. Cox must revoke Dr. Kelso's driving license. Drew is caught in the middle of a power struggle between Denise and Dr. Cox.


Cole auto-tunes his diagnosis

Cox vs. Mahoney

In the ward, Lucy realizes that Cole is wearing her scrubs so she is stuck wearing a pair that her mom custom sewed for her. Denise approaches the students and asks Trang to run an errand. Dr. Cox shows up and asks Trang to constantly move his car out of and back in to the 10-minute parking spot. He pulls rank on Denise. Denise later confronts Dr. Cox and he tells her that although Denise is trying to teach the students, his job as Chief of Medicine is more important. She walks off angrily. Later, Dr. Cox calls Drew and asks him to run some errands while he is spending time with Denise. She fakes an emotional break down so he will stay with her. Denise and Cox face off in the hospital and decide to make Drew choose between them, but he disappears and hides in a supply closet. He later pages both of them and makes them realize that they have very similar qualities and that they should work together for everyone's sake. They bond when Denise reveals that Dr. Cox made Maya cry for an entire weekend. Drew later realizes that pairing them up was not a good idea, as they work together to insult people.

Cox vs. Kelso

Dr. Cox enters a patient's room and sees Dr. Kelso sitting on the bed. He has been passing out randomly, and they soon figure out a drug that will get it under control. However, Dr. Kelso's insurance will not let him drive while he is on the drug. Dr. Kelso is alright with this because he figures he can bum rides from his friends. After waiting around for Turk, med students, and later Cox to drive him home, he realizes that he is afraid of losing his independence. Unfortunately he had yelled at Perry that they weren't real friends, so Perry was reluctant to help him. After confiding in and apologizing to Perry, he is giving a workaround to get his driver's license back.

Cole vs. Cancer

Meanwhile, Dr. Turk teaches the students about medical-student-syndrome, which occurs when students wrongfully believe they have the conditions they are studying. The next lecture, all of the students don't heed his advice and say that they have diseases. When Turk sees Cole's mole, he becomes worried that it might actually be cancerous. After running some tests, they find out that he does have melanoma. Before his surgery, Cole pokes fun at the cancer, and also tries to play it cool like he doesn't care if anyone shows up for his surgery. Lucy promises to rally the study group. She bribes them with cupcakes, but no one shows up. When no one shows up, he yells at Lucy that she shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. Dr. Kelso later uses Cole's bathroom, and the two start talking over juiceboxes. Bob shows Cole that having a big ego can get in the way of what is best for you, and that if you show people you care about who you really are, they will care for you back. As he goes in for surgery, Cole apologizes to Lucy. After a successful surgery, Cole buys pizza for the study group, just to show that he cares about having them as friends.

Recurring Themes

     More: FantasiesFlashbacksJ.D.'s girl namesJanitor's pranks and lies

Trang is like a pinball


  • Trang is like a pinball, bouncing between objects around the hospital.

Episode Recurring Gags

  • Cole uses the "I Am T-Pain" iPhone app to auto-tune himself.
  • Dr. Kelso is a horrible driver.

Guest Stars


     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Losing Ground" by Tyrone Wells


I blacked out once. It turned out to not be a big deal... only diabetes. OK - bad example.Turk

(mocking Lucy) I wish there were horses in space!Cole

I never said that! Why would I want there to be less horses on Earth?Lucy

I'd totally be there for them, like when Trang asked me to help him move. I said 'no' because I didn't want to slow everyone down with my hilarious jokes!Cole

Have you seen Drew Suffin? Med student, but like 900 years old?Dr. Cox

Hey, you seen a med student? Thinks he's cooler than he is, kinda has a serial killer vibe?Denise


  • Drew hides in a supply closet, a trick that J.D. and Elliot did on multiple occasions during their first years as doctors.
  • Dr. Kelso is diagnosed with vaso-vagal syncope, a disease which J.D. was previously diagnosed with.
  • The episode ends with a PSA made by Lucy and Cole about the importance of preventing melanoma. Cole tries to change it to "hottie awareness".
  • Turk wears a shirt in this episode saying "SPREAD THE WORD TO END THE WORD". John C. McGinley is strongly involved in the campaign to end the casual and derogatory use of the word "retard" as his son Max has Down Syndrome. [1] [2]
  • This is the last episode of Scrubs to feature Ken Jenkins.