I was the tramp, y'old bitch!Melody

"My Turf War" is the eighteenth episode of Scrubs' sixth season. Elliot's college friend/sorority sister Melody O'Harra (Keri Russell) comes to town. Keith proposes to Elliot. Dr. Cox and Turk argue over who should deal with Lloyd, who isn't actually ill.


Dr. Beardfacé has macaroni on his chin.

As Keith leaves for the weekend, J.D. helps Elliot cheer up. They play a game of macaroni with Dr. Beardfacé. Later, as they talk about not being able to make plans because Elliot is busy, Melody O'Harra enters the hospital. She and Elliot reminisce about college at Coffee Bucks. Later, while waiting for Elliot at the bar, J.D. and Melody make out because they are bored. J.D. lies to Melody to make her angry at Elliot, and Melody storms out when Elliot arrives at the bar. Back at the hospital, J.D. internally wishes he could apologize, but instead, he and Elliot make plans for that evening. Back at the bar, they are guessing how many beers patrons would have to consume to have sex with J.D., when Melody enters again. The record scratches. The barman tells Melody to hit the jukebox to get it going again, saying it does it all the time. J.D.'s lie comes out, and Elliot and Melody stare him down as he ends up paying $105 for an appletini. Outside the bar, J.D. and Elliot talk about how they need to spend more time together.

Turk returns Lloyd to Dr. Cox with a bow.

At Elliot's apartment, Keith reveals that he didn't leave to see his own family, but to see Elliot's father. He then asks her to marry him.

While treating a new patient, Lloyd, Dr. Cox gets upset because there is nothing wrong with him. Turk argues with Dr. Cox about how Cox never gives him any good surgeries. Dr. Cox then hands Lloyd off to Turk, and Lloyd confronts Turk about their air band, The Cool Cats. Later, Dr. Cox and Turk degrade Lloyd by transferring him back and forth. After operating on Lloyd, Turk transfers him back to Dr. Cox for the last time. Cox then lectures Turk that he can't give surgery just to prove a point, and Dr. Kelso chimes in that Turk might have his medical license revoked. At the nurses' station, Carla chews Dr. Cox out for letting Turk take such a fall. Cox then asks Dr. Kelso to let Turk off the hook. As it turns out, Lloyd didn't undergo surgery after all, but was fooled by theatrics. Dr. Cox was the target of a ploy by Turk, Carla, and Dr. Kelso to earn some respect, which ends up working.

Elliot and Melody cause chaos after meeting each other.

"Turk's Booty Breakdown".

Recurring Themes

     More: FantasiesFlashbacksJ.D.'s girl namesJanitor's pranks and lies


  • Elliot and Melody scream so loud, rushing winds blow people and things through the hallways of the hospital. J.D. stops them by showing them a picture of Isabella Turk.
  • During "Turk's Booty Breakdown", a sports-like introduction of Melody, we learn she is 5'4", 103 pounds, single, has green eyes, perfect feet, and works as a hotel reviewer for Zagat.


  • Elliot jumps on Steve's back, causing him to fall on a grill and giving him the name "grill face".
  • Turk "operates" on Lloyd's shoulder.

Janitor story

Janitor devises a plan that will make his job easier. He dresses up as a ghost (with a bedsheet and eye holes) and spooks children in pediatrics. He tells them the "Ghost that Hates Spills" will come and haunt them if they spill anything. The backstory is that the ghost's parents died because of a careless spill. Janitor uses rollerblades to make the ghost a little bit "glidey". He is then seen behind a window gliding around as the ghost.

Guest Stars


     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Pass It On" by The Coral


I was the tramp, y'old bitch!Melody to Dr. Kelso


That can't be good.J.D.


  • During the commercial break, a clip from "My Musical" asked viewers how close J.D and Elliot are. The answer is "amoxicillin and clavulanic acid".
  • In "Turk's Booty Breakdown", it is revealed that Melody has a BMI of 17.7, which is medically underweight.


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