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J.D., seeing a young doctor do his job is an amazing turn-on for a girl. My dad's a doctor, and I remember how excited I was the first time I saw him work at the hospital. I mean, I didn't want to sleep with him, but there were definitely some complicated feelings...but that's totally normal for an 11-year-old, right? Anyway...yeah...I forget.Elliot

"My Quarantine" is the sixteenth episode of Scrubs' fourth season. J.D. suspects a patient has SARS and gets the staff quarantined in the hospital during his first date with Kylie. Turk discovers Carla and Dr. Cox used to date.


J.D. tries on a ship captain costume for his first date

J.D. & Kylie

J.D. prepares for his first date with Kylie and decides on an outfit made up of embarrassing layers which work together. Before they make it to the restaurant, J.D. kills a possum and hits a homeless man with his car. They take the man to Sacred Heart where the entire staff is gathering around Laverne on her birthday, trying to score some of the face cake that her brother made. J.D. is confronted by a slice of his past when Danni shows up, he fails to mention to Kylie that Danni is his ex.

After getting a scrub top from Lonnie, J.D. shows off his medical knowledge to Kylie but foolishly suspects SARS. Regulations dictates that the ICU must go into lock down for a SARS threat. Jordan escapes but the rest of the gang aren't so lucky, J.D. feels their scorn as a result. Somehow the date gets worse for J.D. as Kylie falls asleep.

J.D. and Kylie share a kiss at the end of the date

To excite Kylie, J.D. pays the homeless man to fake a heart attack. J.D. "saves" him leaving Kylie impressed and their date a success. When Kylie remarks that he seems so genuine, guilt racks J.D.. He doesn't want to base their relationship on lies so he decides to comes clean about the homeless guy.

The lab result come back negative, the quarantine ends and everybody goes home. Before he and Kylie leave, J.D. tells her about the fake heart attack and about his relationship with Danni. Kylie is disappointed and goes to leave, but J.D. doesn't want them to remember their first date like this, so they kiss and leave the ICU to get coffee.

Turk & Carla

During the lock down, Danni goes about annoying Dr. Cox whilst attracting the attentions of Ted and Doug, both of whom are infatuated with her after the events of Turk and Carla's wedding. Turk foolishly admits to Carla that "any idiot can be a nurse", and his night is made worse when Dr. Cox diverts Danni's attentions onto him.

Their date gets the whole hospital talking about their past first dates. It turns out that Carla and Dr. Cox went on a date some years ago, much to Turk's distress. Cox doesn't help by provoking the situation, but later tells Turk that the date went horribly and he only got a "forehead kiss". He liked her way more than she liked him and Carla most likely didn't tell Turk because she knew he'd react like this.

Recurring Themes

     More: FantasiesFlashbacksJ.D.'s girl namesJanitor's pranks and lies

Janitor attempts to flick a cotton bud in the jar


  • The hospital goes into automatic lock down, Jordan runs for the exit and slides under the door. Her hat blows off and she reaches quickly to grab it. This is a reference to Indiana Jones with the background music and Jordan's hat falling off.


  • J.D. picking out outfits for his date, he's very fond of the ship captain uniform he has. He also notably has the leather suit from Eddie Murphy Raw.

Janitor story

The Janitor flicks a cotton bud into a jar and Dr. Kelso offers him $5 bucks "if he can do that twice", but fails. The Janitor declares double or nothing and keeps trying until he eventually owes Kelso $700 dollars. Kelso, who was meant to go to a steak house that night, tells the Janitor that if he gets Laverne's face cake, he is "free and clear". The Janitor successfully gets a piece and Laverne finds out. Kelso blames the Janitor but Laverne finds a piece of leftover cake on Kelso's finger. Kelso learns that the Janitor told Laverne and he tells him "you're going to pay every cent of that $700 dollars". Finally, the Janitor declares double or nothing and gets it in the jar.

Episode Running Gags

  • J.D. and Dr. Cox try to avoid Danni, J.D. to keep his past relationship with her a secret, and Cox because she annoys him
  • J.D. treats Lonnie like his "bitch," demanding his shirt, and then later his scrub top. Kylie joins in and demands Lonnie to hand her a patient's chart.

Guest Stars


"I know how ridiculous this looks." - J.D.

You know, on a first date, I could see what a guy was wearing and know exactly how far he was gonna get that night.Carla

Oh, me too. And that guy's gettin' boobies.Elliot
Yeah, he is.

[J.D. takes off his sport jacket to reveal short sleeved "nerd" shirt]
Whoa! That guy's gettin' a hug at the door. Heh.
[J.D. takes off the button-up to reveal that his red t-shirt is an "Electric Boogie" belly shirt.]
And that guy is getting a fake name and a phone number with six digits.
I know how ridiculous this looks.J.D.
I don't think you do.

It was Sophie's Choice. Either heartlessly leave the possum there to die or wrap that little guy up in my sports coat and reveal the short-sleeved nerd jersey that lurked beneath.J.D.'s narration

A hundred and twenty dollars for a stupid dead rat!?J.D.'s narration

I think it's so sweet that you're depressed about that poor little possum.Kylie
I'll always remember him. Little Carlton. I named him after my uncle. He had red eyes. Allergic to preserves, but he spread 'em on everything, you know?J.D.

"Aghh! I just said "slaves" to my new black girlfriend!" - J.D.

It's so great, because the residents are practically our slaves.J.D.

Aggghhh! I just said "slaves" to my new black girlfriend!J.D.'s Narration

Otherwise, let's bear in mind that we are short-handed, there are only four doctors here.Dr. Cox

I counted more than that.Turk
I'm talking legitimate doctors, Turtle Head. Here, Pee-Pants is a Pathologist, so he doesn't count. Johnson is a Dermatologist, which is Greek for "Fake Doctor," and please don't even get me started on you four surgeons.

There's only two of us.The Todd
You are so very useless, I counted you both twice.

Yeah you did!

So, Nurse Ghandirella, I need you to suction this guy, do a wet-to-dry dressing change, and, oh, what the hell, go ahead and top him off with one of your special, special sponge baths. Happy ending optional, his choice, not yours.Dr. Cox

"You're not getting this one yet, lord! Could you make your face a little bit redder, buddy?" - J.D.

Come on, Steve! Stay with me, buddy! YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' THIS ONE YET, LORD! Could you make your face a little bit redder, buddy? Come on.J.D.

I want more money.Steve, through his teeth

Fifty bucks or I tell the girl.
I don't have it!

Get it!
Elliot, I need another doctor over here, STAT!

Gimme thirty dollars.

I gave you twenty, I'm tapped! Ask Johnson. He's loaded.
I need a dermatologist over here, STAT!

Oh yeah! Time to shine!Dr. Johnson
[Johnson throws down his magazine and goes over to the scene]
What do you need? Is it a rash?
Look, I paid this guy to fake a heart attack. He wants fifty bucks, we only have twenty.

You know, I feel like you guys just use me for my money.
You have a trust fund! Now gimme the money!


"Good lord! That's a one day mustache?" - J.D.'s Narration

Thanks for the shirt, Lonnie.J.D.

Are you doing this because I forgot to shave this morning?A bare chested Lonnie
[Good lord! That's a one day mustache?] No, Lonnie.


[Puts defibrillator to Steve's chest, clearly not charged]
I'm alive!Steve
[J.D. rises triumphantly]
J.D., one. Lord, zero.

Oh, I don't care. I'm not even hungry.Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso, I don't have seven hundred dollars.Janitor
[Kelso's stomach rumbles]
That actually sounded like the word "cake".



  • When J.D. and Kylie stop to see what they ran over, you can see Sacred Heart Hospital in the background.
  • During the scene when J.D. is pretending CPR on Steve, it is 9:20. But its a few minutes earlier when Turk calls Carla a liar and its 10:05 when Cox asks the ICU if anyone had a history with Jordan.
  • When J.D. is wearing the scrub top he took from Lonnie, he is wearing a long sleeved t-shirt underneath, which is how J.D. normally dresses in the hospital, although Lonnie was not wearing one himself..
  • When Jordan slides through the door her hat is on the side that she is on in the next scene she has to pull the hat from the other side of the door.
  • Janitor could have not have owed Dr. Kelso $700 through double-or-nothing from $5 because the math does not work out. However, if the bet kept going up by $5 then Janitor must have had 140 shots.
  • During his "not enough doctors" rant, Dr. Cox claims there are only four surgeons (although he counts Todd and Turk twice because they are so very useless) however there are several other people in the background wearing green scrubs, which is usually the indicator of surgery staff.

Running Gags

  • When trying on outfits, J.D. briefly considers the leather, purple jumpsuit (from "Eddie Murphy Raw") that he purchased in "My New Game".
  • After Kelso asks Janitor to get him Laverne's face-cake, Danni passes Ted and Doug saying "Hey Glenn." In the background, Janitor is walking down the hallway in the opposite direction, as though he had just passed Danni. Janitor's real name turns out to be Glenn, as revealed in "My Finale".


  • Jordan grabbing her hat from behind the closing door is a reference to the film Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  • At 10:34, Dr. Kelso asks Todd, played by Rob Maschio, about how much money the Janitor owes while betting Dr. Kelso. He asks "So how much does he owe me, Barbarino?" a reference to John Travolta's similarly dimwitted Italian-American character Vinnie Barbarino from Welcome Back, Kotter.


  • This could be considered a bottle episode as as most of the episode takes place entirely at Sacred Heart because of the SARS lockdown.
  • This episode features the last appearance of Danni Sullivan.
  • This episode occurs exactly one year after "My Clean Break" (indicated by the fact it is Laverne's birthday in both episodes) in which J.D. is attempting to end a relationship. This episode marks the beginning of his new one. It also had an original air date of just over one year after "My Clean Break".