- “Everyone! This is my sister Paige. Paige, I'd like you to meet random people I don't care about.”— Dr. Cox
"My New God" is the fifth episode of Scrubs' fifth season. In the episode, J.D. wants to come to the baptism of Jack Cox, Carla gives Turk a pager so she can contact him when she is ovulating while causing him to realized "angry sex" is amazing.
Synopsis[]
Dr. Cox's born-again Christian sister Paige comes to town for Jack's baptism. Cox rarely speaks to his sister and seems indifferent towards her. His patient Mr. Donnelley is showing no improvement after they have exhausted all medical solutions, when Paige suggests prayer to the patients family, the two of them air their differences out. The next day, Cox is ready to rub it in Paige's face when Mr. Donnelly's treatment registers an improvement, however Paige had stayed up all night praying with the family. After arguing over whether God or Medicine helped Mr. Donnelly, Cox snaps and takes Jack with him to the bar, just so God cannot get his hands on him like he did his sister. After robbing an Asian couples apartment, J.D. is also at the bar. He has been trying to get an invite to the baptism, and he gets what he wants when Cox realises that Jordan will kill him if he doesn't get Jack to the baptism. As he is about to leave with Jack, J.D. tells Cox he is surprised that he's so intolerant of his sister's new found perspective, this strikes a chord with Cox.
Carla gives Turk a beeper and pages him when she is ovulating (for procreation purposes), but Turk finds the scholastic/technical approach to sex as a turn off. When he infuriates Carla by avoiding a page to buy half price doughnuts, he thinks he has gotten out of "ovulation sex" altogether, this is not the case. They have "angry sex", which is amazing for Turk and so he keeps angering her every time they have sex. When Carla finds out, she's upset and they have an argument.
At the baptism, Turk and Carla continue to argue with Elliot as their only buffer. Cox turns up in his Red Wings jersey drinking a beer and J.D. is showing off his improv skills to the priest. Everything comes to a standstill when they witness Jack's baptism, all the pettiness and anger melts away. Turk realises what so special about making a baby to Carla, who in turn lets the angry sex continue. Perry and Paige face the brutality and hardship of their childhood, yet vow to move past that so Paige can be a part of her nephew's life. Before Paige leaves, they play HORSE as they did when they were kids.
Recurring Themes[]
Fantasies[]
- J.D. hears Koyaanisqatsi when the Janitor gives him a death stare (the same song appears in "My Chopped Liver").
Flashbacks[]
- Elliot is about to have sex in a car, before a bear interrupts.
Janitor Story[]
The Janitor death-stares J.D.
The Janitor asks J.D to help him move; after talking to Elliot and Jordan about it, J.D agrees to help the Janitor, in the hopes that they will become friends. When J.D helps him move, J.D saves a vase, and they start talking, Janitor Gives J.D a black hat and gloves. The Janitor leaves while J.D keeps boxing Janitor's stuff. An Asian couple come in and ask what J.D is doing in their house, J.D runs away with a Buddha statue under his arm. At the end of the episode J.D gives it back, with a "I MISSED YOU" sign.
Guest Stars[]
- Cheryl Hines as Paige Cox
- Ryan Boone as Elliot's Date
- Carol Hickey As Mrs. Donnelly
- Wesley Leong as Mr. Kwan
- Bart the Bear as The Bear
- Nami Hirayanagi as Mrs. Kwan (uncredited)
Music[]
- "In the Sun" by Joseph Arthur
- "Koyaanisqatsi" by Philip Glass Ensemble
- "Slave to Love" by Bryan Ferry
- "This Time Around" by Emotion Project
Quotes[]
- “I knew you would, you're very predictable.”— Janitor
- “I knew you would, you're very predictable.”— Janitor
- “ Rest assured, Newbie, even if we did talk from morning till night about all the big and tiny things that matter most to me -- the big being my son Jack, a cure for cancer, and the resurgence of the hard-shelled taco; the small...”— Dr. Cox
- “...the small being my ex-wife, Jordan, wind energy, and a-ha-hall fruit-infused liquors -- your name still would nawt have come up.”— Paige
- “...the small being my ex-wife, Jordan, wind energy, and a-ha-hall fruit-infused liquors -- your name still would nawt have come up.”— Paige
- “What does he find "he-h-irritating" about you?”— J.D.
- “What does he find "he-h-irritating" about you?”— J.D.
- “My son, Harrison, dabbles in sado-masochism and he has a new gimp named Barry. Or is it Larry? At my age, it's getting harder and harder to keep track of his gimps.”— Dr. Kelso
- “Losing a baseball scholarship because a bear ate your arm is a much worse consequence of sex.”— Elliot
- “I'll be right out, I'm just fixing my hair.”— Carla
- “I'll be right out, I'm just fixing my hair.”— Carla
- “Rake's in the closet, baby!”
- “Still, I've never known you to judge a person based on their beliefs. In fact, you're pretty tolerant of everyone. Except Hugh Jackman.”— J.D.
- “Meh.”— Dr. Cox
- “Meh.”— Dr. Cox
- “You're not invited”— Dr. Cox
- “You're not invited”— Dr. Cox
- “Oh, I see. Family only, everyone, that's how they're doing it.”
- “I'm going”— Carla
- “I'm going”— Carla
- “Newbie, give me a break. Of course you're going. As a matter of fact, I'd--I'd like you to be the boy's godfather.”
- “[whispering] I--am honored.”
- “[whispering] I--am lying.”
- “[whispering] I--am lying.”
[Dr. Cox exits. Carla tries to stifle laughter.]
- “I'm not sure I see how that's funny.”
[J.D. exits, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.]
Trivia[]
- When the Janitor and J.D. are resting in the "Janitor's apartment", the beer they are drinking is the Chinese brand "Tsingtao". This is in keeping with the Asian theme to the decoration of the apartment.
- The song played when the Janitor gives the 'evil eye' is named Koyaanisqatsi by Phillip Glass.
- We find out Jack's birthday is March 21st.
- This is one of the only episodes in which the title of the episode is actually spoken; J.D. refers to the Buddha he accidentally stole as "my new god."
- This is Andrew Miller's first appearance as Jack Cox.
- Elliot makes a reference to her brother Barry again, saying that he possibly might be giving oral sex for someone to do his taxes. In a previous episode that she wouldn't be surprised if Barry and J.D. were having sex.
- The sign for the donut shop is a parody of Dunkin Donuts with the word "donuts" at the top.
Images[]
