The following is a transcript of the Scrubs episode "My Lucky Day".
Act[]
Turk and J.D.'s Apartment
J.D. answers the door to a sour-faced man who is holding Rowdy.
J.D.: Oh, thank God.
J.D. takes Rowdy from the man.
J.D.: We were looking all over for you! Rowdy, bad!
He gives Rowdy a spank.
J.D.: I don't know why he always goes to your door.
The man walks away.
J.D.: [calling down the hall] Do you have a stuffed cat?
He comes in and closes the door.
Turk is on the couch reading the paper.
Turk: Nothing?
J.D.: Nada. That's fourteen times we've done it to him, and not one laugh.
Turk: Mark it up.
J.D. marks the failed attempt on a little memo board on the wall.
Carla: Let's get going to Elliot's.
Cut to...
Elliot's Apartment
Elliot lets the gang in.
J.D.'s Narration: Elliot's dad cut her off financially. Luckily, she's got friends to rally around her.
J.D.: You got any food?
He disappears into the kitchen.
Carla: How're you holding up, Hon?
Elliot: Okay...
Turk: [looking around] Yoooooo! Talk about a deluxe apartment in the sky! Elliot, it would really suck to lose this place—
Carla shakes her head at him.
Turk: Then again, Elliot, this place is— Is that a jacuzzi on your deck?
Elliot: Lately, I just feel like I'm drowning, you know?
J.D. emerges from the kitchen, devouring a luscious pear.
J.D.: This pear is delicious!
They look at him.
J.D.: [remembering why they're there] Need help packing?
J.D.'s Narration: As bad as things were going for Elliot...
J.D.: [in ecstasy over the pear] Oh, God, that's good.
J.D.'s Narration: ...they were going pretty well for me.
Cut to...
I.C.U. — The Next Day
Dr. Cox and J.D. are at the bed of a patient.
Dr. Cox: I guarantee you, that's a simple case of cellulitis right there.
He walks toward the Nurses' Station. J.D. follows him.
J.D.: Uhhhh, actually, Dr. Cox, I was watching TV last night, and they had this special on flesh-eating bacteria....
Dr. Cox: Necrotizing fasciitis; yeeeesss?
J.D.: Yeah, I think they called it "flesh-eating bacteria" to sound more flashy — you know, hook in all the idiots.
Dr. Cox: Apparently it worked.
J.D.: Anyhoo, point being, uh, they said it was very easy to confuse, uh, cellulitis with chompers....
Dr. Cox looks at him.
J.D.: "Chompers" was the — the animated flesh-eating bacteria that — that narrated the special.
Dr. Cox: Look, Britney, recently I made the potentially fatal mistake of getting back together with my ex-wife, who, angel that she is, is carrying the spawn of another man's seed. So forgive me if I sound a tad irritable when I tell you, I don't care what piece of irrelevant drivel you picked off TV while you were snuggled up in your Holly Hobbie P.J.s.
He walks away.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Come on, trust yourself.
J.D.: I think you're wrong.
Dr. Cox turns around.
Dr. Cox: Really.
He comes back, sweeping a group of files off the Nurses Station desk on his way to getting up in J.D.'s face.
Dr. Cox: Well, I think you're—
Flash to... Moments Later
Dr. Kelso stands between the two men, addressing J.D.
Dr. Kelso: Brilliant! Necrotizing fasciitis! That's a one in a million diagnosis, son! One in a million!
J.D.: Bah, it's nothing, sir. Anyone coulda made that call.
Dr. Kelso turns to Dr. Cox.
Dr. Kelso: And yet, they didn't. The student becomes the teacher, eh, Perry? Haha... warms my heart.
J.D.: Thank you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: I don't care about you, son; I'm trying to do something here!
He faces Dr. Cox again to continue, but...
Dr. Kelso: Rats! He broke my rhythm.
He leaves.
Dr. Cox: [to J.D.] So, I'm guessin' this is just about the greatest moment of your life, huh, there, Newbie?
***Flashback: The Bar
J.D. notices that sitting next to him is a famous magician.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Holy crap, it's David Copperfield!
****
J.D.: Well, definitely top two.
***Flashback: Back to... The Bar with David Copperfield
J.D.: What's that I see in your ear...? Pa-ZOW!
J.D. fumbles with a coin as he "magically" produces it from Mr. Copperfield's ear.
David Copperfield: [unimpressed] Cool, a coin.
J.D.: Do you want it?
Copperfield takes it...
David Copperfield: Here, you take it.
...and motions to drop it into J.D.'s palm. With a bit of a flourish, the coin disappears.
J.D. laughs with awe.
David Copperfield: [mocking] Haw-haw! Magic!
****
J.D.: No, top three. Top three.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God.
Act[]
Hall
J.D. is striding through.
J.D.'s Narration: By showing up Dr. Cox, I told the world I was no longer a child...
***Surreal Sequence: Different staffers give J.D. thumbs' up and other congratulatory words and gestures.
Staffer: Yeah!
J.D.'s Narration: ...I was The Man.
Doc: Great diagnosis!
J.D.: You! [laughs]
Doc 2: There's Mr. Flesh-Eating Bacteria!
J.D.: Grr! [laughs]
Nurse: Doctor. Could you sign these, please?
She rips open her scrubs top.
J.D.: Ah! Sure. [writing] "To my two biggest fans."
****
J.D. is standing, staring at the nurse's still-clothed chest.
Nurse: Yeah. They're called breasts.
J.D.: I — I know... I'm a doctor.
She walks away.
Dr. Cox addresses J.D. from the Nurses Station
Dr. Cox: You know, Eunice, you never even woulda made that catch if you weren't such an all-purpose nerd, sitting home alone on a Saturday night, watching some medical special on TV! [laughs]
J.D.: First of all, in your face, because it was Friday night; and secondly, I woulda made the catch regardless — you see, if you use your head and do some homework, medicine is just... it's basically science!
Dr. Cox: Oh, puh-lease explain medicine to me! Because, without you, I don't know what to do!
Dr. Kelso passes through.
Dr. Kelso: Admitting it is the first step, Perry! Am I right, Ace?
J.D.: You are correct, sir! Haha—
Dr. Cox: [whistles] That's enough on that one — I think we've clearly exhausted it.
Jordan comes up to him.
Jordan: Hey, Stud.
Dr. Cox: Hello.
He gives her a quick kiss.
Jordan: I hear wonder boy spanked your ass harder than I usually do.
She winks at J.D.
Dr. Cox: Ahh, such a lucky fetus!
He ushers her down the hall.
Dr. Cox: Not another damn word.
Jordan: Yeah, I'll say whatever I want.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Hell, yeah.
Scene[]
Hall
Jordan and Perry are walking toward the Nurses Station.
Dr. Cox: [to no staffer in particular] Yes, hello? Could we please get my hormonal, extremely annoying ex-wife's amnio underway?
Jordan: Wow, I can't wait to write that down in the baby journal.
Dr. Cox grunts.
Jordan: Could you be a bigger ass right now?
Dr. Cox: Could you have a bigger ass right now?
She shoves him, hard, and he crashes into some nearby equipment.
Dr. Cox: Owww!
From the Nurses Station, Turk and Carla are watching this.
Carla: Why does he keep going back to her?
Turk: I don't know. Why do people keep marrying Larry King? The man looks like a frog.
Carla: Look, Dr. Cox and I go way back — I just hate to see him setting himself up to get hurt like this. I'm gonna talk to him.
She starts to leave.
Turk: Here we go.
She stops.
Carla: What? Where we go?
Turk: Sometimes you have a habit of telling other people how to live their lives, and... maybe, possibly, sometimes... people don't appreciate it that's— a little.
Carla: Puh-lease! When do I ever get involved in people's personal business?
Flash to...
The Cafeteria
Elliot, Carla, and J.D. are at a table.
Carla: Elliot, listen to me — you have to sit down and make a budget.
Elliot looks at her blankly.
Elliot: You know, I called my mom today, to see if she could convince my dad to send some cash, right? She says I should try and think of this whole thing as some kind of opportunity, and then she hung up on me!
J.D.: Just like that?
Elliot: Well, I may have told her that she spends more money dying her roots than I do on groceries. Still, this whole thing is just as much her fault as it is my father's — neither one of them prepared me for this.
J.D.: Look, Elliot, my dad's an office supplies salesman. A bad one. So things were a little different for me, growing up.
***Flashback: Little J.D. and his dad sit on the sofa in their living room. Each one wears a party hat.
J.D.'s dad hands him a bicycle bell, ringing it a couple times.
J.D.'s Dad: See, this is a bicycle bell. Now, you hold on to this, because I'm gonna give you a different part every year. Maybe after the party, we can take it out for a spin!
Little J.D.: Great.
J.D.'s Dad: [grinning] 'Kay?
****
J.D.: [lost in thought] Still waiting on that kick-stand.
Elliot: [pitiful] It's just harder for me because I've always had everything. I got used to it. You guys never had to deal with that.
Carla: Yeah, we're lucky.
Scene[]
I.C.U.
J.D. is walking towards the Nurses Station
J.D.: I think patients are like snowflakes — no two are alike.
Dr. Cox and Nurse Roberts are at the desk.
Nurse Roberts: All right, we've got two new admissions — both male, both mid-forties, both with thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura.
J.D.'s Thoughts: I bet that snowflake thing is bogus, too.
Dr. Cox: I say we let Super Doc here take 'em.
J.D.: Oh, are you too busy eating sour grapes?
Dr. Cox: [laughs] Look who peeked in his shorts and found a pair! What are you, feeling like you finally took on the old man in a game of one-on-one and kicked his ass? Well, here's the news-flash, there, Skeetch: It was a fluke!
J.D.: Well, believe what you want to believe. I'll do it again.
Dr. Cox: All right, fair enough, here's your chance — two identical patients. I say we divide 'em up, just like in The Parent Trap. One goes with the sexy, free-wheeling, bachelor dad — hello. The other goes with the whiny, neurotic, sexually repressed mom — oh, just you all over.
He tosses the chart at J.D.
Dr. Cox: Oh, and I checked tonight's TV listings — there is no special on that disease, so you're gonna want to stop at the Blockbuster.
He takes the chart for his patient and walks away.
J.D.: Please. I know all there is to know about [reading] thrombotic... thrombo... cyto — cytop-top-top-top... toppee— toppee—
Nurse Roberts: Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura.
Scene[]
Cafeteria
Turk and Carla are walking to a table... pointedly past Dr. Cox's.
Turk: Yeah, baby, just walk right by him. Okay? Just walk right by him. I'm proud of you. I'm... I'm so proud of you!
She sits at Dr. Cox's table.
Carla: Dr. Cox, hi!
Turk: Dammit, I said walk right by him!
Carla: Ohhhh.
Turk: Hey, hey!
Carla: Listen, um... We just think that getting back with Jordan might be a mistake.
Dr. Cox looks at her.
Carla: You guys just don't seem to... What am I trying to say, baby?
Turk: [shrugging] I'unno.
Carla: You just don't connect the way a couple should. Do you know what I mean?
Dr. Cox: [to Turk] That pretty much the way you feel about it, there, Gandhi?
Turk: [shrugging] Mmm-mm-mm!
Dr. Cox: Interesting.
Scene[]
Private Patient's Room
Elliot is at the bed of the patient, Mr. Bragen.
Elliot: Mr. Bragen, it is so great to see you back in the hospital!
Mr. Bragen: Woo-hoo! I've got a tube in my penis.
Elliot: Come on, you're just a little dehydrated from the chemo. Plus, there are no signs whatsoever of your pancreatic cancer! You should be ecstatic! I mean, nine months ago, I told you you only had eight months to live, remember?
Mr. Bragen: I vaguely recall that.
Elliot: Yeah, of course you do. That is totally my fault! Who knew we could cure cancer!
Mr. Bragen: I prepared myself, you know? I was really ready.
Elliot: Yeah.
Mr. Bragen: Dr. Reid, have you ever had to face your own mortality?
She thinks.
Elliot: Before senior prom, I tried to wax my own eyebrows, and took them both clean off. Fft! Yeah!
He looks at her.
Elliot: And by that, I mean no. Never.
Mr. Bragen: Must have been a tough time for you, though.
Elliot: Ohhh, sure.
She touches her eyebrow, thinking back.
Scene[]
I.C.U. — Nurses Station
J.D. comes up to Nurse Roberts.
J.D.: Thanks for starting the Solu-Medrol on my TTP patient. And, Laverne, I'm sorry I'm being such a pain about this guy, it's just that Dr. Cox and I have this little competition going... and I know that probably seems insensitive to you....
Nurse Roberts: Sweetheart, you don't have to explain yourself to me. But you'd better get your story straight when you come face-to-face with Jesus.
She leaves.
J.D. notices a chart on the counter.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Hmmm... the chart for Dr. Cox's TTP patient. I could look and see, but I'm not that insecure about my—
He "accidentally" knocks the chart onto the floor.
J.D.: Oops! I. Will. Get. It!
He bends down and scoops it up, reading inside on the way back up.
J.D.: Yes! He's doing the exact same thing!
J.D.'s Narration: When you work in a hospital, and things are going well, you should enjoy it while you can.
J.D. confidently strides away.
J.D.'s Narration: Because, around every corner, there's something waiting to take it all away.
Cut to...
Hall
Elliot rounds a corner, with a cup of coffee and a pastry in hand.
Ted stops her.
Ted: Dr. Reid, I need to talk to you about your patient, Mr. Bragen.
Elliot: Isn't it great! He's cancer-free!
She takes a happy sip of her coffee.
Ted: Yay. ...He's suing you for malpractice.
She sputters her coffee.
Cut to...
Another Hall
Turk and Carla are walking through.
Carla: It's okay, relax. I told him how I felt, he listened, and nobody got hurt! It's fine!
Jordan stops them.
Jordan: Yeah, which one of you two's been messing with my business?
Turk nods over at Carla.
J.D.'s Narration: Of course, every once in a while, you manage to get away scot-free.
Cut to...
Another Hall
J.D. catches up with Dr. Cox.
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox! You'll be happy to know that I did everything for my patient that you did for yours.
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out!
Dr. Kelso passes through.
Dr. Kelso: Hey, Ace. Your TTP patient coded — I pronounced him.
J.D.: He died?
Dr. Kelso: I certainly hope so, otherwise that autopsy's gonna be a bitch!
Dr. Cox: Boy, that's tough.
J.D.: [in disbelief] What?
Dr. Cox: I'd stay and talk you through this, but I gotta go check on my patient; you see, he's still alive.
He pats J.D. on the shoulder as he leaves.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh, no.
Act[]
Hall
J.D. and Dr. Cox are walking through.
J.D.: How the hell did my patient die? I mean, you started corticosteroids, I started corticosteroids; you did plasmapheresis, I did plasmapheresis; you yelled at Mark the orderly, I yelled at Mark the orderly.
They pass an orderly.
J.D.: Hey, Mark.
Orderly: "Hey, Mark!"
J.D.: [to Dr. Cox] See? He's pissed!
Dr. Cox: That's because his name is Frank. Now, as far as your patient's concerned, well, Newbie, I'm afraid you forgot one very important thing.
J.D.'s Narration: For whatever reason, I was finally fed up.
J.D.: You know what, I've been working my ass off here for the last year and a half, and the last thing I need is another one of your condescending, never-ending speeches where you spoon-feed me some giant lesson and call me a girl's name.
Dr. Cox: Well, then, have it your way, there, Carol. 'Cause I'm out.
He brushes his hands together and turns them over to prove that they're empty — he's completely out.
Dr. Cox: Good luck, everyone.
He walks away.
J.D.: Go ahead, walk away! Because I'm not gonna obsess about this!
Cut to...
Morgue
J.D. and the pathologist, Dr. Walsh, are standing over the shrouded body of J.D.'s deceased patient.
J.D.: Can you put a rush on this autopsy? I gotta figure this out.
Dr. Walsh lazily takes a bite from his sandwich as he looks over the chart.
J.D.: You got some crumbs in his hair.
The doctor brushes the crumbs away to make J.D. happy.
Scene[]
Mr. Bragen's Room
Elliot: A lawsuit!? So you're suing me because you're not dying?
Mr. Bragen: Dr. Reid, I didn't want to face my mortality; you forced me to. And now I can't earn any money because my job seems trivial. I can't be in a relationship because what's the point? Oh, and here's the topper: Remember my horrible, judgmental father I hadn't spoken to in fifteen years? Well, good news, Doc — we patched things up! And guess who's coming over Saturday to watch the game and tell me what a jerk I am!
Elliot: Well, you asked me to estimate how much time you had left!
Mr. Bragen: And you told me I'd be dead by now!
Elliot: Well, you're not! So sue me!
Mr. Bragen: I am!
Elliot: It was a figure of speech! And your dad was right about you!
She begins to storm out.
Mr. Bragen: Why don't you tell him yourself.
In the doorway is Mr. Bragen's dad.
Elder Bragen: Hey, ass-face!
Mr. Bragen: Hiya, Pops.
Scene[]
Hospital Exterior — Wheelchair Ramp
Turk and Carla are following after Jordan.
Turk: Excuse me, ma'am? Jordan?
She turns around.
Turk: Carla has something she'd like to tell you. Carla?
Carla: I didn't mean to upset you. Even though everything I said was true and you know it.
Turk: Baby, that is a God-awful apology. That is just God-awful.
Jordan: It's 'cause she's not really sorry. [to Carla] Honey, I know your type — it is so easy to see other people's problems from way up there on your pedestal. But you better be careful up there, 'cause if you fall off, and have to walk around down here with the rest of us? I don't know! You might catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, or surface of a pond, your boyfriend's gigantic, shiny head... and trust me, you're not gonna like what you see.
Angry, Carla turns and walks back toward the front doors of the hospital, while Jordan turns on her heel to continue walking down the ramp.
Turk: My head's not—
Jordan's knees buckle, and she grips her abdomen.
Jordan: Ow. Ow.
Turk rushes over to her.
Turk: A little help, here!
Scene[]
Morgue
J.D. is waiting for the results of Dr. Walsh's findings.
Dr. Walsh: Sorry, kid. I didn't see anything unusual.
J.D.: Couldn't he have bled out, or had an MI?
Dr. Walsh: I don't know. I didn't look for any of those basic things, because I'm horrible at my job.
Dr. Cox comes in.
Dr. Cox: Dr. Walsh. [noticing J.D.] Murder, She Wrote!
J.D.: Okay, fine, you caught me — I'm checking on my patient.
Dr. Cox: How is that guy doing?
Dr. Walsh slides the body into the drawer.
Dr. Walsh: Not great!
Dr. Cox's beeper goes off.
Cut to...
Private Patient's Room
Dr. Cox enters, where Jordan is set up in a bed, her obstetrician at her side.
Dr. Cox: What in the hell is going on in here?
OB-GYN: The amnio triggered premature labor.
Dr. Cox: Excuse me, she's only twenty-four weeks. Jordan, cut it out right now!
Jordan: Is he yelling at me?
OB-GYN: Yes, he is. I'm gonna give you a shot of terbutaline.
Jordan: And you know what else? He said I had a fat ass before.
The OB-GYN gives Perry a dirty look.
Dr. Cox: The nice kind?
Scene[]
Ted's Office
Elliot is sitting at a chair across from Ted.
Ted: Look, I — I don't get a lot of women in here. What's your honest opinion of these drapes?
He gestures to the window coverings. Elliot gives them a brief glance.
Elliot: W— They're fine, Ted. But I'm getting sued!
Ted: You're right. You're right, you're right. Now, by "fine"—
Elliot: Ted!
Ted: Okay, um, just time to calm down, now.
Elliot: I'm fine.
Ted: Actually, I was talking to myself. Now, uh, you haven't discussed the lawsuit with Mr. Bragen, have you?
***Flashback: Mr. Bragen's Room
Elliot: A lawsuit!?
****
Elliot: It, uh, it sort of came up, yeah.
Ted: Oh, God! Tell me you didn't antagonize him!
***Flashback...
Elliot: So sue me!
****
Ted: Or admit fault!?
***Flashback....
Elliot: That is totally my fault!
****
Ted: Oh, come on! A good lawyer couldn't win this case!!!
Dr. Kelso comes in.
Dr. Kelso: Ah! New drapes. They're awful!
Elliot begins hyperventilating and nearly crying.
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, why does everything keep happening to me?
Dr. Kelso puts his hand on her shoulder.
Dr. Kelso: Take a breath, Dr. Reid. In, and out; that's it. That's it.
Once she's calmed down a little, he sits down on the edge of Ted's desk and faces her.
Dr. Kelso: Now, you went to four years of college, and four years of medical school, so I can safely presume that you are at least eight.
Elliot gives him a confused look.
Dr. Kelso: My God, little girl, grow up and say "how do" to the world of modern medicine! My God! I've been sued four times!
Ted looks around Dr. Kelso and holds up ten fingers.
Dr. Kelso: Come on, Ted, let's go.
When Dr. Kelso looks at him, Ted makes his ten fingers into fists.
Ted: Let's go!
Scene[]
Hall
Turk and Carla are outside Jordan's room.
Turk: I think you should just go in there and apologize to her.
Carla: No! I didn't say anything that wasn't true! I just want to see if she's okay.
They look into her room, where Perry is at her bedside, holding her hand.
Turk: [smiling] She's fine.
Carla rests her head on the door-frame, looking thoughtfully at the scene.
Cut to...
I.C.U. — Nurses Station — A Little Later
Dr. Cox approaches Nurse Roberts.
Dr. Cox: Laverne? Would you please have the nurse covering Jordan page me the moment she wakes up?
Nurse Roberts: Sure.
She puts her hand on his shoulder before going on her way.
Dr. Cox: Thank you.
J.D. comes up to Dr. Cox.
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox. I'm sorry, I was just so frustrated before. So, now I'm here, why don't you go ahead and tell me what I forgot?
Dr. Cox: [grinning excitedly] Can I? Really?
J.D.: Sure! Hit me.
Dr. Cox: How about, "Go to hell, Shakira."
J.D.: What?!
Dr. Cox: What, now that you've decided you're ready to listen, how does it work, huh? You gonna pull a string on my back? Well, step right up and give it a tug. But, I'm warning you, I bet it keeps coming up "Go to hell, Shakira."
J.D.: Why do you always have to be like that? You know that I try harder than anyone in this place, and you never give me any credit!
Dr. Cox: Now, you listen to me, Newbie. I'm not doing this because I get my jollies off of being your mentor, and I'm damn sure not doing it so that years from now I can say, "Boy, I knew him when." I'm doing it because if I don't, people would die.
J.D.: [sarcastic] Thanks for your help.
He leaves.
Scene[]
Mr. Bragen's Room
Mr. Bragen is punching the buttons on his bed controller.
Elliot comes in.
Elliot: You know what, Mr. Bragen? I figured something out.
Mr. Bragen: That damn nurse broke my bed.
Elliot: That's just it — you blame everyone else for anything that goes wrong in your life. Like this. The nurse didn't break your bed. You just press this button.
She snatches the controller out of his hand and pushes the button. Nothing happens.
Elliot: All right, it is...broken. The point is, if you hate your job, maybe you need to switch careers; if you can't get into a relationship, maybe you have problems with commitment, huh? And I know that I'm right, 'cause I'm the exact same way: I blame my parents for not preparing me for the real world, I blame this hospital for taking up all of my time; I'm even blaming you for jeopardizing my future! But, you know what? It's time for me to grow up and start holding myself accountable. And I'm doing it.
Mr. Bragen: [smiling] Good for you!
Elliot: You're, um, still suing me, aren't you.
Mr. Bragen: Yeah. But I feel like now you'll be able to handle it!
He grins at her and clicks his tongue.
Scene[]
Turk and J.D.'s Apartment
Turk answers the door to the same guy as before, who hands Rowdy to him... for the fifteenth time now.
Turk: You know what? We're just gonna have to get him fixed. Good news is, he doesn't need to go to a vet — 'cause we could just pop these things right off!
Turk turns Rowdy over, showing his little doggy package.
The man snickers and walks away.
Turk closes the door and sets Rowdy down, pumping a fist.
Turk: YES! Baby, you have got to tell J.D., because he is not gonna believe it!
He plops onto the couch next to Carla, who looks very serious.
Carla: Jordan was right about me. I'm insecure, and I judge people to cover up for it. I mean, even right now, all I can think about is to tell you that you're a surgeon now, and if you want to be taken seriously you have to start acting like an adult.
Turk: And you had to say all of that?
Carla: Well, you have a habit of not listening to things unless people spell them out for you!— Oh, my God, I can't stop!
Turk: Baby, maybe it's something you need to work on, that's all?
Carla: Sweetie, I promise you, I will never, ever, tell you what to do ever again.
Turk: Yeah, you will. But with me, it's okay, because I love you.
He kisses her.
Turk: Besides, I barely listen, anyway.
He jumps off the couch.
Queen's "Under Pressure" begins to play.
Turk: Come on, Rowdy! Let's go, boy! Let's hit up the fourth floor.
He grabs Rowdy by the collar and opens the door. Rowdy is very excited to get to go out again — he runs out the door, dragging Turk behind him.
Turk: Whoa, whoa, boy! Whoa! Slow down!
Carla sits on the couch, thinking.
Cut to...
Doctors' Lounge
The room is darkened as J.D. goes over textbooks and files on a notebook computer.
J.D.'s Narration: As I sat there, still searching for answers about my patient, I realized that I still needed Dr. Cox. It's hard to face a harsh truth about yourself.
Cut to... Turk and J.D.'s Apartment. Carla continues to think about her faults.
J.D.'s Narration: I guess the only thing you can do is try to take positive steps.
Elliot's Apartment. Elliot slaves over some paperwork and a calculator, hammering out a budget.
Apartment Hallway. Turk and Carla leave Rowdy at a neighbor's door and knock. They begin to run, but Carla lags behind to perfect Rowdy's position. Turk grabs her by the hands and pulls her down the hall.
Elliot's Apartment. Elliot confidently packs up boxes of her stuff.
Doctors' Lounge. J.D. rubs his eyes, still struggling to find the missing piece.
J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately, it's hard to take positive steps when you've burned the bridge you need to walk across.
The song fades.
Dr. Cox comes in.
Dr. Cox: It was luck.
J.D. turns around.
J.D.: What?
Dr. Cox: The thing that you forgot? Turns out, whatever you know about medicine, ultimately, luck or fate or God or... who knows what is always gonna end up playing a much bigger role in the whole thing than you and I ever will. Hell, it was lucky you were watching that show the other night. And it was unlucky that your patient went the other way, even though you did absolutely everything right; and, for the record, you did. I was looking over your shoulder every step of the way.
J.D.: Thanks.
Dr. Cox: Wasn't a favor, Newbie. It was my job.
He leaves.
To a reprise of the last part of the song, J.D. thoughtfully closes the computer.