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Okay, Mrs. Nickels, your new hip is on the house because this girl is amazing!J.D.

"My Half-Acre" is the ninth episode of Scrubs' fifth season. J.D. finds the perfect girl Julie Quinn (Mandy Moore) on a blind date - whose only downfall is her clumsiness. Dr. Cox struggles to become a caring father. Ted, Janitor, Lloyd and Turk form an air band, The Cool Cats, but struggles with Dr. Kelso.


Julie walks in. Slow Motion style.

A patient of Sacred Heart Hospital sets up J.D. for a blind date with her niece Julie Quinn who, despite her stunning beauty, is quite the klutz. Nonetheless, everything is going great as the date continues at Elliot's apartment where, as Elliot predicts, J.D. spoils a romantic moment. Elliot coaches J.D. on how to avoid ruining his relationship with Julie, including how to handle a romantic moment and to break his habit of moving too quickly. While he follows her romantic advice, he succumbs to his old habit and buys a half-acre block with Julie.

Carla and Jordan try to get Dr. Cox to do things he doesn't want to do

Dr. Cox is under pressure from various aspects of his life, most notably his family as Jordan pushes him to be a caring father, specifically to kiss their son Jack. Seemingly exhausted, Carla reassures him that he can be that father.

The Cool Cats

Ted and the Janitor are auditioning hospital staff to join their air band, The Cool Cats. Lloyd joins them on drums and The Todd auditions for lead vocals but is overshadowed by Turk who easily impresses the Cool Cats with his performance of "Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe. Later, Turk mocks Dr. Kelso, driving Kelso to prohibit air banding in the hospital. Janitor explains to Turk that Kelso wants respect and when Turk apologizes, Kelso ends the ban on air banding.

As the episode comes to a close and all the matters are sorted out, the Cool Cats perform "More Than A Feeling" by Boston.

Recurring Themes

Elliot (with a J.D. wig) and Julie after kissing each other


  • Julie pops the breasts of the waitress on her and J.D.'s first date. (Fantasy by Julie)
  • Julie and J.D. make out, except it's really Elliot in a J.D. wig.
  • Elliot appears in a real estate sign, warning J.D..


  • While in bed, J.D. asks Elliot if she's "thicker," which ruins the moment.

Janitor story

The Janitor (bass guitar) and Ted (lead guitar) form an Air band to win a pair of water-park tickets. They quickly recruit the help of Lloyd (on drums) and eventually Turk (lead singer) to form The Cool Cats. The band is stopped from practicing by Dr. Kelso when Turk disrespects him, but with the Janitors advice Turk eventually gets him back on side and the band play once again.

We don't just rock together, we roll together... Cool Cats.Janitor

Guest Stars

Michael Hobert as Lonnie


  • "100 Years" by Five For Fighting
  • "More Than a Feeling" by Boston
  • "Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy
  • "Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe
  • "Hey Julie" by Fountains of Wayne


"Julie Quinn" enters, causing J.D. to curse Mrs. Nickels

Oh Mrs. Nickels, you blue haired bitch.J.D.

I don't know what it is, but he's got it.Janitor on Turk

He's gonna be trouble.Lloyd
I know. He's so damn talented.

HA! Why don't you ask her if our date sucked? She's in my room.J.D.

20 bucks says you blow it in less than 5 minutes.Elliot
Unlikely, cause what's waiting for me in my room is what's known in football terms as a slam-dunk.

One mississippi, two mississippi.
I have to leave I have a cat and fish to feed, hi I'm Julie.Julie Quinn

"I was Elliot."

I was Elliot; 20 bucks please.Elliot
Double or nothing, i bet i can jump from the couch to the counter. Eagle!J.D.

Just don’t repeat the same mistakes you made with me. For instance, don’t speed down the road pretending your brakes are out. I don’t care if it got you laid once in high school. It is not funny and I still have not forgiven you for killing that pony.Elliot

What costume? - Todd

Anyway, thanks for coming to the audition in that costume!Janitor

What costume?Todd

Oooooo, land for sale.J.D.

Alright listen up and listen good. I will kill anyone who tells Carla. And that includes you Mrs. London. I will save your life and take it away.Dr. Cox

Don’t go too quickly, or like I said, you’ll just end up with another beautiful girl.Elliot

Dating my laptop.J.D.
Dating your laptop. Thank you.

Fine. I may have told her that she smells like my Mom. Which, by the way, I still maintain as a compliment.J.D.

Sticks and stones may break my bones...J.D.

...but words will hurt forever.J.D.'s Narration


"Elderly" J.D. and Julie taking a photo

  • In both scenes where Ted Buckland plays the air guitar, he plays it left handed.
  • At the time when this episode was made, Zach Braff and Mandy Moore were dating in real life.
  • Broker of the year Whit Prowdy is likely named after real-life Los Angeles real estate agent Whit Prouty.
  • In the end when The Cool Cats are performing "More Than a Feeling", Turk can be seen lip syncing a commonly misunderstood line, he says "I may be dreaming", but the correct line is "I begin dreaming".


  • When J.D. is waiting for his blind date, the camera pans to the door and you can already see the face of the older woman when she walks in, BEFORE the shot of the camera panning up to her face.
  • About 10.5 minutes into the episode, when J.D. pulls off his old man mask, his face is messy and his hair is greased back. On the next shot his hair is normal and his face is almost completely clean.