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Nor do you want to see I angry!J.D.

"My Five Stages" is the thirteenth episode of Scrubs' fifth season. J.D. and Dr. Cox go through the five stages of grief with their favorite patient, Mrs. Wilk, who is declining in health. Elliot is faced with the truth that Keith thinks she is his booty-call, rather that he being hers. When Dr. Kelso hits Ted with his car, Ted finally gains power over Kelso with a potential lawsuit.

Synopsis[]

5x13 rooftop relaxing

Cox, J.D., and Mrs. Wilk relax on the roof

Although she was released from Sacred Heart a week earlier, Mrs. Wilk is back, having caught an infection. Due to her already weakened immune system, the infection has spread fast and her condition is now terminal. Her last wish is to go to the beach, so her doctors build a mock-beach on the roof. Dr. Hedrick, the staff death counselor has been called to help her come to terms with her death. Dr. Cox, who is generally not a fan of psychiatrists, tells Dr. Hedrick off and J.D. follows suit because Cox uses the word "we". Hedrick is impervious to Cox's threats which only infuriates Cox further. The two doctors realize that they must contact Mrs. Wilk's family, but hesitate to do so because she might recover. Hedrick hears this and informs them they are currently underdoing denial. That evening, J.D. tries to bond with Perry by catching a ride in the Porsche. The next day, the two doctors burst into a group therapy meeting and yell at Hedrick for bothering them. His group informs them that they are undergoing anger. Cox storms out and J.D. follows suit. As Mrs. Wilk's condition worsens, Dr. Cox and J.D. share their hopes that she could've lived, which is bargaining. As Mrs. Wilk passes away, Hedrick doesn't gloat that the two doctors are experiencing depression, even though they both know it. J.D. and his reluctant mentor share memories of Mrs. Wilk on the roof, and as Hedrick leaves he tells them that they have just reached acceptance.

5x13 Ted's bust

Ted's bust.

Meanwhile, the sand from Mrs. Wilk's rooftop beach leaks into Ted's office, causing him to miss calling in on a radio contest he won. His bad luck continues when Kelso refuses to let him have a Sunday off to bicycle for charity. In the parking lot, Kelso remembers how his father left him on a bicycle, and hits Ted on his bike. Janitor helps Ted milk the situation for leverage, but Ted eventually crumbles when Kelso secludes Ted in his office. Ted settles excitedly for 7 Sunday afternoons off per year.

5x13 foreplay

Elliot and Keith role-play

During a booty-call, Elliot and Keith role-play as a girl and apple thief. The next day, Elliot brags to Carla and Turk about how nice it is to have Keith as a booty-call. Turk gets upset that she is manipulating Keith, but moreover so that it is giving Carla ideas. To show that she can control Keith, she leaves him a voicemail to go to her apartment that night. They have sex that night, and the next day Elliot learns that he didn't get the message and that she was his booty-call. Turk gloats in this, and when Elliot tries to ignore Keith, Turk yells "Hey there Clare" as if he were Keith, which further infuriates Elliot. In the cafeteria she realizes that she will miss Keith's company the most, and she ends her day by asking him to dinner.

Recurring Themes[]

5x13 JD bites pencil

J.D. angrily bites the top off a pencil

Fantasies[]

  • J.D. bites the eraser off of a pencil angrily to spite Hedrick.

Flashbacks[]

  • Carla and Turk go on a double date with their neighbors.
  • Kelso's dad leaves him and his family on young Kelso's bike.

Janitor story[]

5x13 Janitors sandcastle

Janitor's sandcastle

Janitor builds a giant sandcastle out of the sand from the rooftop beach. When the castle collapses, it happens to catch Ted after Kelso hit him with his car. Janitor tells Ted that he needs to hold the car-wreck as leverage. Kelso offers Ted a pair of WNBA tickets as a form of negotiation, but Janitor convinces Ted to try and milk the accident further. He soon learns that Ted buckled and gave in to Kelso (for seven Sunday afternoons off a year, as well as the tickets).

Guest Stars[]

Music[]

     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Bring Me Love" by Deberg/Jacobs
  • "The Long Road" by Pearl Jam.

Quotes[]

Oh, oh, uh, OK, yeah, um...OK, death is like a journey. Uh, a journey in a boat, and uh, then this giant light shines down on, on your "boat," and um, um, it carries you up to the heavens.J.D.

That was the ending to Cocoon.Dr. Hedrick


Good morning, loyal subjects! Enjoy your day in Janitoria! Labor until you tire! And then labor some more! Looks like rain. That could be a problem.Janitor


5x13 JD Cox as a team

J.D. and Cox as a team

You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact I have no buttons, please think of me as button-less. All smooth; like GI-Joe's nether-regions. And by the by, this image is brought to you by my son Jack who's been yanking the pants off his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is just disturbing enough so that leaving the house, I'm cranky, and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you: the fool. I'm done suffering you so go now, go - go before you can write a book entitled 'Help! A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass: The Lester Hedrick Story'Dr. Cox


I was in the Porsche. I had never made it into the Porsche. It smelled like German heaven.J.D.


5x13 exploded soda

J.D.'s root beer exploded in Cox's Porsche

Son, Daddy's got to move on. And I just want you to know that since the car is in your mother's name, I wouldn't be able to leave the family forever if it weren't for your bike.Dr. Kelso's father


Oh yeah. I mean, look at her, she could be in a vitamin commercial.Dr. Hedrick

How would you like to be in a broken jaw commercial?Dr. Cox


Oh, for the love of God. What is this, some pansy, get-in-touch-with-my-feelings-because-my-mommy-didn't-love-me group?Dr. Cox

Yeah, is that what it is?J.D.
Actually, this is a support group for the terminally ill.Dr. Hedrick


5x13 Kelso's dad leaves him

Kelso's father leaves him.

That guy looks fantastic. What do you think he's dying of, a case of the handsomes?J.D.


Now, let's talk, Ted. Just you and me. No lawyers.Dr. Kelso

Trivia[]

  • At the beginning of the episode a mess of board games is shown, including a Scrabble set which spells the word "jzilbek." That word shows up in a different episode and likely is an on-set inside joke.
  • Dr. Cox insults J.D. by asking Mrs. Wilk "Would you like a virgin daiquiri? It's a normal daiquiri, I just let him give it to you." although in previous episodes, Dr. Cox has made fun of J.D.'s various love interests, including his complicated relationship with Elliot.
  • The five stages of grief, formally known as the Kübler-Ross model, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
  • This is the last appearance of Mrs. Wilk in the series until "My Finale"
  • When Dr. Kelso's father leaves on his bike, young Kelso can be seen holding a red bandana. When it cuts back to present day Kelso in his car, that same red bandana is on his dashboard.
  • Ted's bust was created by The Mannequin Gallery

Images[]


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