Dr. Cox, I want to thank you for that "everyone's a murderer" speech. Nice scare tactic. Unfortunately, my residents have stopped eating.J.D.

"My First Kill" is the fourth episode of Scrubs' fourth season. J.D. worries about if he ever killed one of his patients. Janitor helps Carla look for a lost Rowdy. Elliot fights to get her patient, Mr. Phillips, into surgery.


Dr. Cox tells the residents they will kill someone

J.D. convinces Dr. Cox to give his overwhelmed residents an encouraging speech. To his horror, Dr. Cox tells the residents that during their time as Doctors it is inevitable that they will kill a patient, be it because of a slow reaction or forgetting to write a prescription or just through general incompetence. The speech spreads fear amongst the residents as well as J.D.. He feels that although enough patients have died in his care, none of their deaths were caused by bad doctoring on his part. The fear paralyzes J.D., causing him to delay a Periocardiocentesis on his patient, Mr. Daniels. Dr. Cox finds out about J.D's stage fright and reschedules the procedure. When the time comes again J.D. is still too frightened, so Dr. Cox tricks him into believing that he has already killed a patient seen earlier in the episode, Mrs. Carter. J.D. is able to carry out the procedure not with the fear of killing his first patient lifted from his shoulders. However, the placebo is ruined when Mrs. Carter is re-admitted after she drove her car into the swimming pool. Cox tells him that the fear is good for him as a Doctor, but he can't let it take him over. J.D. is later shown cautiously teaching a risky procedure to his residents.

Janitor shows Carla "Stephen", Rowdy's replacement.

Carla is getting sick of finding Rowdy around the apartment and wants him out of her home. She feels guilty about saying this to Turk, and decides to get Rowdy cleaned as an apology. Of course, no dog grooming places will clean Rowdy, so the Janitor offers his services. Janitor does a fine job, but Carla leaves Rowdy on the roof of her car and on the way home he flies off. She prevents Turk from going home until she can think of a way to get him back, the Janitor comes to her rescue again. He trades away his Stuffed Squirrel Army for Steven, a yellow Labrador almost identical to Rowdy. When she gets him home, Turk senses that Rowdy is a little shorter than usual, but Carla initiates sex before he can suspect anything.

Elliot's patient, Mr. Phillips, is a recovering heroin addict in need of a new heart valve. Despite Mr. Phillips' numerous relapses Elliot believes that he can kick his habit, but the Surgery department isn't so optimistic, so the decision is left to an ethics committee (made up of Dr. Kelso and Ted among others). Elliot has to argue Mr. Phillips' case and asks Molly to go in with her for moral support. When Molly is asked for her professional opinion however, she sides against Mr. Phillips, causing a rift between herself and Elliot. Mr. Phillips gets his heart valve, but part of the bargain is that he must do six weeks rehab at Sacred Heart. He says he and his family are moving to Florida afterwards. Molly is congratulatory of Mr. Phillips, yet Elliot still tries to rub it in her face. Molly rises above Elliot's rather childish behavior, but Elliot persists. Molly leaves her crying after zeroing in on her greatest insecurity (her eyebrows). Mr. Phillips shows up for the first few days of rehab, but then doesn't show again. Elliot is clearly let down, but Molly lifts her spirits, telling her that he may have gone to Florida early. They go to karaoke as they had originally planned.

Recurring Themes

Rowdy comes to life and attacks Carla.

     More: FantasiesFlashbacksJ.D.'s girl namesJanitor's pranks and lies


  • Rowdy comes to life and attacks Carla.
  • J.D. meets some of his old patients in the Heaven diner to find out if he killed any. He had to leave though, as he left his wallet back on Earth.


  • The Janitor calls a meeting of his Squirrel Army to order.
  • J.D. seeing Mrs. Carter off as she drives out of the car park in her sports car.
  • Turk getting a lapdance at a strip club.

Janitor introduces a new member to his squirrel army

Janitor story

Janitor ends up selling his stuffed-squirrel army to help Carla replace Rowdy (whom he is not readily willing to let go of).

J.D.'s Girl Names

  • Portia
That wasn't a scare tactic, Portia!Dr. Cox

  • Kiki Dee
Ah, Kiki Dee. I heard Mr. Daniels isn't getting his Pericardiocentesis. Since when?Dr. Cox

  • Peggy
Hey, Peggy? Yes, I noticed the turtleneck choice in August, and can only assume it's got something to do with that grapefruit you store in your trachea.Dr. Cox

  • Little Girl
C'mon, I know you're scared. A lot of times you feel like a little girl in a big gal's body, but here's the dirty little secret: Fear is good, it keeps you from becoming a crappy doctor.Dr. Cox

Episode Running Gags

  • A small child screams at the sight of Rowdy, once when Carla takes him to the dog groomer, and the second time when it lands in from of him after the dog is knocked off the roof of Carla's car.
  • A new doctor named Ron tries to introduce himself to J.D., only to be brushed off.  Ron later snubs J.D. in the same manner when J.D. tries to talk to him.
  • Todd runs into the room when hearing the suggestion that Molly and Elliot make out.
  • The Janitor holds meetings with his squirrel army.  They apparently also have names.
  • The ethics committee consists of Dr. Kelso, Ted, and Dr. Edwards, an older doctor who appears asleep or unconscious and is possibly near death or already dead.

Guest Stars

Jill Tracy as Elaine and Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. Tanner.


     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Blue Eyes" by Cary Brothers


"If Edwards is dead, I want his cupcake" - Dr. Kelso

If Edwards is dead, I want his cupcake.Dr. Kelso

That young man has killed so many patients, I'm starting to think he just might be a Government Operative.Dr. Cox on Doug

Rowdy was 48 inches, snout to tail. Stephen is only 46... on a good day.Janitor

...I'm sending you home.J.D.

Can I drive my Trans-Am?Mrs. Carter
That's not up to me, Mrs. Carter. It's up to the police and the owner of those horses you killed.

Oh they were everywhere.
You were on a racetrack, Mrs. Carter.

"I'm Da Man!" - J.D.

Someone's gonna stick a needle in my chest?Mr. Daniels

Not just someone, Dr. DaMan.J.D.
Who's Dr. DaMan?

Say it, Say it without the Doctor.
Who's Mr. DaMan?

No, just say the last name.
Who's DaMan?

I'm Da Man!
[Mr. Daniels stares at him blankly]
That was awesome. That was fun doing that with you.

Dr. Cox, I want to thank you for that "everyone's a murderer" speech. Nice scare tactic. Unfortunately, my residents have stopped eating.J.D.

"There is no way I'm following that guy, I don't even have my cape." - Elliot

Woooh! OK, there is no way I'm following that guy...I don't even have my cape.Elliot

Heard you're trying to clean a dead dog.Janitor

Yeah, who told you that?Carla
Mmmmm 'The Wind'.

[Carla looks at Janitor with bewilderment.]
...Blonde Doctor.


She knows my name, whatever she wants.Ted

Very ethical. Why don't I open the floor to those people who currently don't have erections. Dr. Clock. Do you think this guy will stay clean?Dr. Kelso
Oh...I'm just here as a friend, I think you should ask Ted again.Molly
Oh good God, she knows it too. Am I awake?

"Eyebrows" - Molly

Don't push me. 'Cause one of the reasons I became a therapist is I've always been able to zero in on a person's greatest insecurity.Molly

Ohhh, I'm real scared, Molly, what'cha gonna-Elliot

"Eyebrows." Like that's gonna make you-J.D.
[Elliot starts crying.]
Elliot, come on, you can't be that insecure.
Giant Adam's apple!Elliot
[J.D. on the verge of tears.]
I've to go.
Elliot's comment didn't bother me, because I'm proud of the body God gave me.J.D.'s Narration

Sticky needle please!J.D.

Here you go, Doctor. Oh, by the way, when this is over, I'm kicking your ass!Laverne

"You have work to do." - Carla

Where, where am I gonna find a dead stuffed yellow Lab.Carla

I can help.Janitor
No. You have work to do.

[Both break out laughing.]
Let's go.

They don't have those.Elaine

No flapjacks in heaven?! Are flapjacks evil?J.D.
[J.D. receives the bill in Heaven's Diner.]
You know what. I left my wallet back on Earth.
[Back on Earth, J.D. looks at all the money in his wallet.]
Ha ha, Suckers!


Heaven Diner

  • First appearance of Steven.
  • Dr. Kelso says he's been a doctor for 30 years, however when he retires at the end of Season 7, he'd been at Sacred Heart Hospital for 40 years. This is in keeping with the theme of Dr Kelso's age always being unclear.
  • The patient refered to as "Mrs. Sampson" is clearly a young girl. While it is possible that she is married at a young age it is not very probable.
  • A cameo from the songwriter, Cary Brothers, can be seen singing the ending song "Blue Eyes", which he also composed, in the karaoke bar Elliot and Molly are in drinking in one of the last scenes as well as applauding after his set during the last few moments of the show.
  • When Elliot describes how she does karaoke, she mentions she does kicking movements and sometimes wears a cape. This could be references to NBC's Seinfeld.
  • Patients in Heaven include:


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