My Female Trouble

"My Female Trouble"
Season	Four
Episode	Ten
Writer	Debra Fordham
Director	Chris Koch
Air date	November 16, 2004

“Hello. I'm Dr. Reid. Dr. Elliot Reid. I'm a doctor.”— Janitor

"My Female Trouble" is the tenth episode of Scrubs' fourth season. Turk is sued by a patient, whose lawyer is J.D.'s girlfriend. Elliot uses Janitor to pose as Dr. Reid for her sexist patient.

Synopsis

Elliot with Janitor, who is pretending to be a doctor.

J.D. is in a relationship with Neena Broderick, a lawyer whose client, Harvey Corman, is suing Turk for malpractice. After seeing proof that Mr. Corman used to play tennis (horribly, although he had a very powerful serve), which he says was affected by the malpractice, Dr. Kelso decides to settle the case. J.D. then goes to Neena with the intent of breaking up with her, but he can't resist her strong personality, and they instead have sex on the same table that she was sitting at when she beat Turk. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox gives Turk a speech on the pointlessness of life, which Turk repeats to a shocked young boy who wants to become a doctor — making Carla mad at Dr. Cox, J.D., and Turk.

Elliot, meanwhile, is having problems with a very sexist patient, Mr. Summers, who believes that "Elliot Reid" is a male doctor. Elliot, who cannot reveal that she is Dr. Reid because she will get sexist remarks, pretends that Dr. Reid is very busy and that she is doing what he tells her until he arrives. However, after Mr. Summers demands to see Dr. Reid, Elliot gets Janitor to dress as a doctor and act the part, which creates problems when Janitor starts making up fake cures for Mr. Summers' condition, such as amputation.

Dr. Cox is forced to play tennis with Harvey Corman.

After Jordan tells Elliot that Dr. Cox is annoyed that Elliot doesn't need him as much anymore, Elliot realizes the power and confidence she has and tells Mr. Summers who she really is, and to "deal with it". After Turk and Carla catch J.D. having sex with Neena, he decides he needs help breaking up with her — and finds the strongest woman he knows, Jordan, who agrees to break up with Neena for him if he stretches out her new jeans. After losing the battle against Jordan, Neena leaves the hospital, taking a very happy Todd with her. Carla gets revenge on Dr. Cox for giving Turk the "life is pointless" speech, making him play a game of tennis with Mr. Corman. J.D. realizes how much power strong and confident women can have.

Recurring Themes

     More: Fantasies • Flashbacks • J.D.'s girl names • Janitor's pranks and lies

Fantasies

• All the doctors sprint to Dr. Kelso's office, taking each other down in the process, so they can get a case. This may not have been a fantasy: Elliot knocks over a guy named Craig, elbowing him in the face, and he is later seen with a bandage on his nose when Elliot is looking for a male doctor to pretend to be her.
• J.D. pictures himself as a janitor when the Janitor complains about his job.
• Jordan wears a witch hat and cackles while everyone runs away screaming. When the fantasy is over, the audience sees Jordan playing with a witch hat, revealing that it was her fantasy instead of J.D.'s.
• J.D. gets a tattoo of Neena's face on his stomach, and the back of her head on his back.
• Jordan and Neena, dressed in sweatsuits, wield swords and fight each other.
• J.D., Turk, and Dr. Cox are rendered into small children around strong, confident women.

Flashbacks

• J.D. and Neena are in a restaurant for dinner. She demands that he be quiet while she eats, refuses to buy him any food because he left his wallet at home, and even forbids him to take free bread.
• Neena chucks J.D. out of her car half-naked after sex, drives away, and throws the rest of his clothes out the door.
• Dr. Cox gives Turk some advice and crushes his spirit:
  • He walks Turk down a corridor and tells him that the only thing more pointless than life is being a doctor.
  • He shows Turk a sweet old lady and says even she would sue him if she could.
  • He explains to Turk and a bunch of children that the rabbit is hidden in a compartment in the hat in a magic show.
• Dr. Cox is forced to play tennis with Mr. Corman and is knocked out by his new left-handed serve.

Janitor story

Janitor helps Elliot treat a sexist patient by pretending to be "Dr. Elliot Reid".

Guest Stars

Christa Miller as Jordan Sullivan.

• Christa Miller as Jordan Sullivan
• Julianna Margulies as Neena Broderick
• Richard Kind as Harvey Corman
• Robert Maschio as Todd Quinlan
• Zach Mills as Young J.D.
• Dutch Hofstetter as Young Dr. Cox

Music

     ♫ List of music featured in Scrubs

• "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Quotes

"Guess what, Missy. This is my house. You and Mr. Chestless here are over." — Jordan

“You come in here and walk around like you're the queen bee. Guess what, Missy. This is my house. You and Mr. Chestless here are over. So move on! 'Cause if you don't, I'm going to turn your little lame liaison into a threesome, starring yours truly. And I don't kiss nice.”— Jordan

“Girls! I want an explanation.”— Carla

“Fine. Turk, tell her our code.”— J.D.

“If you haven't had sex in six months, you're not accountable for who you sleep with.”— Turk

“I should have known, Barbie. Hell, you have been impersonating a doctor since the first day you got here.”— Dr. Cox

“Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don't panic.”— J.D.

“I'll be fine.”— Jordan

“I was talking to myself.”

"Dr. Reid. At your service." — Elliot

“Okay, who wants to be me? Craig, you're probably still mad at me. Anyone else?”— Elliot

[Todd uses his hands to make fake boobies]

“Dr. Reid. At your service.”— Todd

“Okay, that's a no for Todd.”

“It's going to be worse than the time my brother Barry caught me reading his Playgirl magazines.”— Elliot

“Don't you mean Playboy?”— Jordan

“No.”

“So you're saying that your brother's—”

“Yes.”

“Has he actually told your family that—”

“No.”

“But everyone's positive that he's—”

“Yes.”

“Do you think he and another guy have ever—”

“No more questions.”

"So the stinkin' rabbit is actually in there the whole time." - Dr. Cox

“...And you reminded him that people are basically good?”— Carla

[Flashback]

“People suck. They suck. And make no mistake about it, even sweet little old ladies are looking to bend you over a chair in court. Come on.”— Dr. Cox

[End Flashback]

“We covered people.”

“And I know you would never do anything to ruin his innocence.”

[Flashback]

“You see, there's a compartment in the hat. So the stinkin' rabbit is actually in there the whole time. Right?”

“Wait, hold on, Turk! Haven't you ever heard of keeping your enemies closer? I was just keeping her closer!”— J.D.

“You are so much stronger than all the other idiot residents around here.”— Jordan

“Really?”— Elliot

“Jordan? I need you to break up with somebody for me.”— J.D.

“Really.”

“You're diabetic?”— Kelso

“Yes, I told you that!”— Turk

“I thought you were joking!”— Kelso

“How is that funny?!”— Turk

“Well, it's a very serious disease and I don't like you.”— Kelso

Trivia

• At the beginning of the episode, when Carla throws a pancake at J.D., it hits him like a spinning frisbee between the eyes, but in the next shot, it is flat on his face.
• In J.D.'s fantasy about Jordan and Neena fighting, they are wearing suits and using swords similar to those used by "The Bride" in the Kill Bill films.
• At the end of the episode, Carla punishes Dr. Cox by forcing him to play tennis against Mr. Corman. The two men playing on the court behind Dr. Cox and Mr. Corman are playing tennis without a ball.

Images

Jordan and Neena have a fight — but J.D. imagines it with swords

Elliot with Janitor, pretending to be a doctor

Carla and Turk catch Neena and J.D. having sex

J.D. imagines Jordan as an evil witch

Dr. Cox is forced to play tennis with Harvey Corman

Todd pretends to be Elliot

Dr. Cox explains how the rabbit-in-the-hat trick works