As for me, I could overcome every obstacle as long as I had Elliot and her ridiculously strong thighs beneath me.J.D.

"My Day at the Races" is the third episode of Scrubs' fifth season. J.D. feels he hasn't accomplished as much as he wanted to by his age, which results in Dr. Cox inviting J.D. to participate in a triathlon with Doug and Ted. Turk performs surgery on a women under hypnosis. He and Carla are also fed up with living with J.D. which causes J.D. to move in with Elliot, who wants to have a better relationship with Jake but results in her breaking up with him.


Elliot and J.D. reject the idea to become roommates.

Turk and Carla are quickly losing patience with J.D. living with them. Elliot is in need of a roommate because her fellowship suddenly ended when a cure was found for the disease she was researching and the landlord has raised the rent on her apartment. Turk suggests that J.D. and Elliot become roommates again, but both of them pooh-pooh the idea and Elliot is still trying to work on her relationship with Jake. J.D. is also worried because he's about to turn 30 and he hasn't accomplished nearly as much as he thought he would at this point.

J.D., Ted, and Doug prepare for the triathlon

Dr. Cox invites him to participate in a triathlon with Doug and Ted. Never mind that he hasn't trained at all, J.D. goes full speed ahead. The first event is swimming in the freezing ocean and J.D. doesn't have a wet suit. He runs into Elliot, who needs to talk. She doesn't know how to fix her relationship with Jake, but she doesn't want to let him go. J.D. tells her that he's not right for her and that deep down, she knows it. Elliot later breaks it off with Jake.

Turk's patient, Melissa Mathis, wants him to perform her appendectomy under hypnosis instead of anesthesia. Carla urges him to use the hypnosis technique, while Dr. Cox argues strongly against it. Carla is offended and upset when Turk chooses to take Dr. Cox's side over hers, his wife. But Turk changes his mind when he realizes that he needs to do something unconventional to insure that he gets one of the 4 attending slots that Kelso will be assigning later on. The hypnosis surgery draws a lot of press coverage, making Turk even more nervous.

Cox laughing at the screaming patient.

Turk almost backs out of doing the surgery, but Carla forces him to do it. Initially, the surgery goes well, until Melissa lets out a scream halfway through the procedure. Despite that, Kelso calls the attempt at something different a success.

J.D. passes out within sight of the finish line, when Elliot comes to see him again. She convinces him that their friendship should be more than superficial again and that he should move in with her. Elliot carries J.D. to the finish line and the two share a celebratory glass of red wine in their apartment.

Recurring Themes

Turk and Todd fight ninjas.


Turk and Todd fight ninjas.


  • Turk gets Dr. Wen's briefcase, but hundreds of surgical ninjas attempt to fight him for it, before being betrayed by Todd for it (the latter of which ended up happening for real).
  • During the triathlon, when Elliot is trying to talk to J.D. about Jake, he fantasizes that she's in a dolphin suit.


  • Elliot is at the free clinic complaining about how no one's life could be worse than a double amputee.
  • Carla encourages another staff member, Kathy, to marry her date (who might be gay) so that they can have dinner with her and Turk, which is what she says to any female who talks about her relationship.

Janitor story

As a prank to make himself feel younger, J.D. vandalized the Sacred Heart sign, making it say Sacred Fart. When the Janitor finds out, he puts up a sign during the bike part of the triathlon that ends up making J.D. ride off a cliff.

Episode Gags

Kelso laughs at "Sacred Fart".

  • Due to J.D.'s vandalism of the Sacred Heart sign, Dr. Kelso twice ends a sentence with " at Sacred Fart."
  • Turk and Dr. Cox compare having sex with a celebrity to the likelihood of Melissa's hypnotherapy working.
I would like to use hypnosis instead of traditional anesthesia.Melissa

I'd like to sleep with Beyoncé tonight instead of my wife, but that ain't happenin' either, you know what I'm sayin.Turk
My appendectomy patient wants me to use hypnosis instead of anesthesia.Turk

Look, I wanna throw it in Gwen Stefani tonight instead of Jordan, but that ain't happenin' either.Dr. Cox

Guest Stars

Meredith Bishop as Melissa


     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Everybody's Changing" by Keane
  • "Kung-Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas
  • "Moving On" by Weekend Excursion
  • "My Face" by Tart


Carla convincing Elliot and J.D. to move in together.

Elliot working at a clinic for $8 an hour.

Turk watches an underwear commercial in a spoon.

Sacred Fart Hospital

Janitor glaring.

Jordan and Cox at the bar.

Janitor gets revenge on J.D..

Elliot in a dolphin costume.

You two could solve both of your problems if you just moved in togetherTurk

Whoa whoa whoa...hold your horsesJ.D. and Elliot
We have a very complicated pastElliot
I hurt her and I'm not proud... [I'm a little proud].J.D.
We managed to restore our friendship though by staying away from dangerous topics.
Relationships and things of that nature.
J.D. and I keep it superficial.
We love the superficial..DYNAMITE teeth!
Oh thanks, buddy!

Friday! Friday's my birthday. I've already e-vited everybody to a party at our place.J.D.

Who's place?!Carla
Your place. Look, I can't just un-e-vite everyone. I've already got 2 e-yeses and 24 e-maybes, that's a lot of e-sponses.

Babmbi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.

Where did all of these unsupervised children come from?J.D.

OK, what if we have a son and he wants to take dance class, even though all his friends are playing football.Carla

He can dance if he wants to...he can leave his friends behind...'cause his friends don't dance and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine. S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e....Turk

Jordan Godzilla Sullivan! You stop that and you stop it now!Dr. Cox

Talking to you about Jake violates the two most important tenets of our relationship: one; keep discussions superficial and two; no talking while my boys are straddling chrome.J.D.

Maybe they'll put it in "Almost" magazine.Dr. Cox

A wise man once said "The human spirit can overcome anything".J.D.'s narration

[Trying to get up]...I can't.J.D.
That man had obviously never run a triathlon.

Was he a Mexican Apple Thief?J.D.

Ahhhh, if only.Elliot


J.D. collapsed near the end of the triathlon.

J.D. moves in with Elliot.

  • Turk and Carla, (and J.D.'s) address is: 56 Walnut Drive.
  • J.D.'s comment to Dr. Cox of "Haven't you used that joke like a trillion times before" is true for most of Dr. Cox's jokes in this episode:
  1. He tells J.D. to go and "pick up a pair of testes".
  2. He tells Kelso to "blow it out your ass".
  3. He tells Turk to "always side with the wife/girlfriend".
  • First mention of Elliot's "apple thief" sex fantasies
  • Turk's comment to Todd, "Stop fooling around and get down here!" is a reference to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Indy says the same thing to Short Round.
  • In syndicated versions of this episode, the bar scene immediately begins with Carla, Elliot, Jordan and Dr. Cox rushing toward the table, cutting out Carla telling Elliot about Turk's "Safety Dance." Also, after Dr. Cox tells Elliot to "pressure him (Jake), get dumped, throw on fifty pounds, start collecting knick-knacks and meet your future now. You know...before the loneliness burns too much?" his following line of "Gosh, I did enjoy that." is cut.
  • Even though "Safety Dance" is referenced, Elliot reminds Carla that Turk did something similar when she mentioned previously that the Kommissar was in town, a reference to the 80's band After The Fire's one hit wonder "Der Kommissar," which was an English cover of the hit by Austrian musician Falco.
  • Carla reveals she used to smoke.
  • Turk mentions that he would like to sleep with Beyonce, whereas Dr. Cox would like to sleep with Gwen Stefani.
  • After J.D. says "I totally saw that coming" towards Todd "betrayal five", he appears to play along on imaginary drums with the intro song, or pretends to karate chop.
  • During the close-up shot of J.D. riding his bike, there is no chain between his bike's front and back gear wheel.

Title Explanation

The episode has J.D. spending a day at the races (triathlon).

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