Hey, Kim, just checkin' to see if your socks are back on since I knocked 'em off last night, hellooo!J.D.

"My Coffee" is the third episode of Scrubs' sixth season. J.D. goes against policy and gives medical advice to strangers outside of the hospital. Elliot runs into problems when her patient turns out to be a private practice doctor. Turk worries when Carla's separation anxiety. Dr. Kelso opens a Coffee Bucks in the hospital.


Elliot agrees to become a Private Practice doctor.

Elliot is bothered by a pesky patient, who also happens to be a private practice doctor, Dr. Turner. Dr. Cox warns her that he'll try to treat himself. Sure enough, he starts to second-guess her comments. Dr. Turner's private physician even schedules a surgical procedure without Elliot's knowledge. She tries to get Turner to change his mind, but he won't budge. She's sure that he will die during the procedure. To be cruel, Dr. Cox plays a joke on her, covering Dr. Turner's body with a sheet, as if he were dead, but thankfully, he isn't. Admiring her chutzpah, Dr. Turner offers Elliot a position in his practice. She would still be able to work at Sacred Heart and make double the money. She mulls it over.

Turk and Snoop Dogg Resident fret over the dying Cotton Candy Man who J.D. thinks he misdiagnosed his rash.

Even though it's against policy, J.D. and Turk give medical advice to strangers without going through the proper procedures. To make matters worse, they accepted small cash payments ($20) for "treating" the patients. Sure enough, one guy, the Cotton Candy Man, came to them about a rash. He is later admitted to hospital, in a critical condition and J.D. worries that he misdiagnosed him about his rash. However Turk finds out that he had actually died from being shot.

Kelso gives Janitor their dental plans but not before he makes him clean up a mess

J.D. and Kim finally have sex. J.D. is particularly relieved that they are compatible in the bed room, since the relationship seems to be going well. Now that baby Isabella is here, Carla fantasizes about not returning to work, which sends Turk into a panic. With his impending pregnancy, J.D. is a little freaked out as well. J.D. gets a little more frantic when Kim informs him that she's been offered a job in Tacoma, Washington. Dr. Kelso opens a coffee shop in the hospital, which turns out to be very popular. Janitor even makes himself the head barista.

Recurring Themes

Kim accidentally offends one of the surgical heads


  • Kim inadvertently offends one of the surgical department heads when she plays the piano with her head.
  • J.D. returns the 20 dollars he received from the cotton candy man, for diagnosing his rash, after he has died. Doug finds it and takes it for himself. He also notices the Hawaiian shirt that the corpse is wearing and takes it for himself.

Janitor story


The two most addictive substances on earth are caffeine and nicotine... Behold... Smoke-accino!Janitor

Janitor demands a dental plan from Dr. Kelso for the support staff; Kelso refuses. Discovering the new coffee bar workers have a dental plan, Janitor and the support staff take over the hospital's Coffee Bucks, neglecting their former duties and refusing to serve Kelso. Eventually, Kelso gives in and agrees to a dental plan.

Episode Running Gags

Todd wants Carla to feed him

  • Todd enjoys watching Carla breastfeed the baby.
  • Dr. Cox carries a tip jar.
  • Much of the staff of Sacred Heart are seen with coffee cups in honor of the opening of Coffee Bucks.

Guest Stars

Shaughn Buchholz as Jason Cabbagio doing an ape impression


  • "All in All" by Lifehouse
  • "I Saw" by Matt Nathanson


If you talk again, I'll eat youJordan

Nice braces.Janitor

Yeah.Jason Cabbagio
You're not worried about, uh, spider monkeys?

Spider monkeys?
Spider monkeys see intricate metal work as a display of dominance. It's a threat to them, they'd tear your eyes out.

Turk, I need you and I need you now.J.D.

Isabella, this is the man you'll be competing with for your father's love. - Carla

Isabella, this is the man you'll be competing with for your father's love.Carla

A coffee place in a hospital? What's next, Bob, an ice cream parlor in the morgue? Admittedly not a horrible idea, seeing as the freezers are already down there, plus it'll be a perfect place for kids! One of our famous vanilla malteds definitely takes the sting out of having to identify the freshly charred remains of your father!Dr. Cox

Hey, Kim! Just checkin' to see if your socks are back on, since I knocked 'em off last night! Helloooooo! What am I doing? You're the mother of my child. That is so tacky.J.D.

And so is this: Way to hit that, player!Turk


You know the worst thing about Turner's surgery? I'm gonna be right, but... he's gonna die. It'll be a hollow victory.Elliot

If I got to be right and have a private practice doctor die due to his own idiocy, I would call that a pretty full victory.Dr. Cox

I caught it! That counts! I'm gonna go hold the crap outta that baby!Elliot


6x3 vader.png

  • Elliot winces when Kim says sex, a reference to how she gets uncomfortable when sex is mentioned.
  • When offering Elliot a job in his practice, Dr. Turner convinces her to finally take it by mentioning she will never have to answer to Dr. Cox again. (Spoiler-Alert: Season 8:) However this in untrue come Season 8 when he is promoted to Chief of Medicine, once again becoming her boss.
  • The idea for a doctor having a tip jar was originally thought up by Kylie in "My Hypocritical Oath".
  • A surgeon named Dr. Turner is seen in the episode "My Faith in Humanity", however, unless Dr. Turner ages incredibly fast, it is a different Dr. Turner.
  • Despite being shot, the Cotton Candy Man doesn't have any blood on his clothes.
  • When Elliot screams "Stop finishing my awesome jokes!" J.D.'s reaction was not scripted, Sarah Chalke, had not told anyone she was going to do the line this way and when J.D. said "Oh my God" it was Zach Braff's real reaction.
  • Yet another Star Wars joke is made in this episode — Darth Vader waits in line for coffee.
  • Coffee Bucks is a parody of the Seattle based coffee chain Starbucks
  • This is the first appearance of Coffee Bucks in the series.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.