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Okay, Mr. Lewis, I'm afraid we're going to need another stool sample. Not for medical reasons—my robot needs food.J.D.

"My Bed Banter & Beyond" is the fifteenth episode of Scrubs' first season. J.D. and Elliot have begun a relationship, and images of their first blissful day in bed together are interspersed with the story of how their relationship falls apart after only a couple of weeks. The staff of Sacred Heart must speak with a psychologist about why they entered the medical field.


J.D. and Elliot argue at the bowling alley.

After spending an entire day together in bed, J.D. and Elliot decide to keep their relationship between them so gossip doesn't start. While talking about Elliot, J.D. tells The Todd that he should ask her out. Elliot is repulsed by Todd, and J.D. uses this to get her to make out in a supply closet, stairwell, rooftop, patient's room, and elevator. When Dr. Cox catches them kissing, he tells them that everybody already knows and nobody cares. A week later, J.D. makes a joke about sex with Elliot in front of Carla and Turk, and Elliot gets upset and walks away from lunch. A week after that, J.D. makes another joke, and Elliot complains about him laughing at himself and calls him "not funny".

At a bowling alley, J.D. and Elliot have an argument and are sad that their relationship is not as perfect as Turk and Carla's. When Dr. Cox rants at Elliot about a mistake she made, J.D. sides with him, further infuriating Elliot. This leads to an argument in the break room about how concerned J.D. is with getting people to like him. J.D. points out that he has friends and Elliot really doesn't, and Elliot walks out on him and the relationship.

Turk and Carla have a good date at the bowling alley.

Throughout the episode, we see parts of the first day they spent in bed together. At 11:59 p.m., they talk about how they think their relationship is going to be great.

Meanwhile, the entire hospital staff must be evaluated by a psychiatrist because Dr. Kelso signed them all up. They reveal why they wanted to become doctors or nurses, and their feelings on love. Dr. Kelso talks about his wife; Dr. Cox says he wanted to become a doctor "for the same four reasons everybody does: chicks, power, money, and chicks"; Turk and Carla talk about each other; and in the end, J.D. and Elliot talk separately about relationships and sex, and say they are not in a relationship.

Recurring Themes

     More: FantasiesFlashbacksJ.D.'s girl namesJanitor's pranks and lies

A vagina transplant.

J.D. and Grandma Dorian watch Basic Instinct.


  • Elliot slaps J.D. in the face after he tallies her off as the fifth woman he's slept with.
  • A vagina transplant is underway.


  • J.D. watches Basic Instinct with his grandma.
  • Elliot tries to catch a football thrown by Dr. Cox, but falls off the counter.

Janitor story

  • Janitor doesn't let Laverne past his vacuum and says that he likes Dr. Cox.

Guest Stars


     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Ever Fallen in Love? (With Someone You Shouldn't Have)" by Buzzcocks


J.D. and Elliot kiss.

She likes to joke that I choked the last breath of life out of her long ago. Now she's just a shell of a woman. I think that's so cute. I call her Shelly. You know, when I call her that, sometimes she laughs so hard, she cries a little.Dr. Kelso

Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever—gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do... believe in it. Bottom line... is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take 'em down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time if it's right and they're real lucky. One of them will say something.Dr. Cox

You know what, after I have sex five times with somebody, I... usually like to have the relationship talk. I know, I know it seems rushed, but, you have to understand, five times usually takes me anywhere between six months and seven years.Elliot


Elliot falls when she tries to catch a football.

  • Dr. Cox doesn't call J.D. by a girl's name on this episode.
  • In the beginning of the episode, J.D. thinks of Elliot as his best friend. However, in all other episodes, he states that Turk is his best friend.
  • Dr. Kelso's first mention of his wife, Enid.
  • Dr. Kelso's grandfather's last name was Kelsonovich.
  • When the text says "Back to that first day... 4 pm", the eaten slices of the pizza look like a clock displaying four o'clock. This happens again at 9. At 11.59, the pizza is completely eaten.
  • J.D. and Elliot spend the whole day in bed and appear to have amazing sex. However, in "My Balancing Act" (two episodes ago), Elliot revealed that she is not good at sex, referred to it as "intercourse", and said she had never had an orgasm.
  • J.D. says he's been stuck on four (girls that he's slept with) since med school. However, in "My Bad", he slept with Jordan, so this can't be true. Of course, at the time, J.D. could have been lying because he didn't want Dr. Cox to know he had slept with Jordan.

    J.D. in the cafeteria.

  • Even though the Janitor was not supposed to interact with any other characters in the first season, J.D. points to him and uses his "relationship" with Laverne as an example of how his own (J.D.'s) relationship with Elliot would help others. Janitor's presence is clearly noticed by both Laverne and Elliot—and this is not part of a fantasy.
  • In later episodes, Elliot struggles with saying "penis" and "vagina", but in this episode, she has no problem saying "vagina transplant".
  • Even though he was mocking Elliot, this is one of the few episodes in which Dr. Cox calls J.D. "J.D.", instead of a girl's name.
  • In this episode, Elliot says, "I was sure I wanted to become a doctor". However, in "My Old Man", she isn't sure if she wanted to become a doctor, and confesses that she became one for all the wrong reasons.
  • In the scene where Carla criticizes Turk about his comments to a nurse, the nurse sitting behind her disappears and reappears.
  • The DVD episode is 28 minutes long, as it was a "super-sized" episode that NBC ran during that period.
  • When Dr. Cox says, "And I'm not talking about the "woah-woah, here she comes" kind of maneater", he is quoting the 1982 song "Maneater" by Hall & Oates.
  • The Todd invites Elliot to go out with him and a bottle of Jägermeister, which is a strong liqueur flavored with herbs.
  • Turk says, "When I was 7 years old, the only things I loved were my ColecoVision and Sandy Lowe." ColecoVision was a video game console in 1982 that offered arcade-game-quality graphics and gaming style, the ability to play other consoles' games, and the means to expand the system's hardware.
  • In the flashback where J.D. is watching a movie with his grandma, he says they are watching Basic Instinct. Basic Instinct is a 1992 erotic mystery movie starring Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas.
  • When Dr. Cox calls the psychiatrist "Sigmund", he is referring to the Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist Sigmund Freud.
  • When J.D. says "Alf? Very funny", he is referring to Alf, an NBC sitcom that ran from 1986 to 1990, about the life of an alien who crash-landed into the garage of a suburban middle-class family, the Tanners.
  • When Turk says, "Elliot and Todd? That's a terrible couple. That's worse than Joanie and Chachi", he is referring to the Happy Days characters, who later had their own spin-off called Joanie Loves Chachi.
  • The episode title is a play on the domestic merchandise store chain Bed Bath & Beyond. It also refers to how J.D. and Elliot spend the day in bed, the bantering they go through, and the future beyond them.