J.D. fantasizes that he and Turk are pimps... for a second time. ("Their Story II")

Ever wondered in which episode your favorite fantasy occurred? We've compiled the following complete list of fantasies in all nine seasons of Scrubs to help. Or, simply browse through all the fantasies and laugh about them all over again. Also take a look at our fantasy galleries. All of the fantasies were held by J.D. unless otherwise noted.

Season One

"My First Day"


  • J.D. and Elliot race J.D. and Elliot race through the hospital. J.D. wears a track jersey with "33" on it, and dumps coffee on his face as if it were water.
  • Honest Steadman Dr. Steadman only says "I'm a tool" instead of talking, and later "I'm a dork."
  • Sitcom relationship J.D. and Elliot appear in a sitcom on the television in the break room, the set happens to be the one from the T.V. show My Wife and Kids.


  • Deer in headlights J.D. is a deer in headlights and is hit by a semi-truck after Dr. Kelso asks him a question during rounds.
  • Peeping Todd Hearing Turk and Carla in the on-call room, he imagines The Todd watching.
  • Demon Kelso Dr. Kelso has a deep voice and flames for eyes.

"My Mentor"


  • Musical hospital The hospital seemingly moves in sync to the song "Good Time" on J.D.'s walkman. Dr. Kelso asks him "Are you having a good time?" in sync with the lyrics.
  • Turk kills Todd After talking naughty about Carla, Todd's neck is broken by Turk.
  • Nerdy Elliot Elliot is a nerdy band member, the nurses are cheerleaders, and the surgeons are jocks when the cafeteria turns into a high school.
  • J.D.'s head explodes After Dr. Cox gives J.D. conflicting advice, his head explodes.
  • Elliot digs her own grave After Elliot continuously insults Carla, she is seen digging her own grave while the others see her lie herself to rest.

"My Best Friend's Mistake"


  • Homeless J.D. J.D. gets kicked out of Sacred Heart and becomes homeless, offering "Physicals for Food".
  • Threesome J.D. and Elliot get married, and have a threesome.
  • Seductive Kelso Dr. Kelso wears a red velvet jacket and smokes a pipe while seducing Elliot.
  • Mid-air remote Turk runs out of the room so quickly that the remote is still in the air after he's no longer in the room.
  • Morphing into Turk A patient, and then Nurse Roberts turns into Turk and tells him the cold hard truth J.D. doesn't want to hear.
  • Ted sings Ted sings and dresses like Elvis
  • "The Friend Zone" J.D. enters "The Friend Zone" - a closet full of people who were only friends with Elliot, but wanted more.

"My Old Lady"


  • Time rewind J.D. rewinds time to take back a comment he made to Elliot and Carla, only to say it again.
  • Escape from Sacred Heart Mrs. Tanner escapes from Sacred Heart as if it were a prison.
  • Face cake J.D. pushes Samantha Tanner's face into her birthday cake.
  • Cheating Death J.D. and the Grim Reaper play Connect 4, and the Grim Reaper wins (diagonally -- pretty sneaky).
  • Brick delivery A ton of bricks falls on J.D.

"My Two Dads"


  • Show Me Boobs J.D. and a group of Men are on Family Feud - and the winning answer to "Things guys want to see more than anything in the whole wide world" is "boobs" (93 of 100).
  • Lapdog Part 1 Dr. Steadman eats treats from Dr. Kelso and humps his leg.
  • Lapdog Part 2 J.D. jumps up and eats a treat from Dr. Kelso that was meant for Dr. Steadman.
  • Father and Son J.D. and Dr. Cox play football in the backyard, as father and son.
  • Golf Clothes J.D. wears outlandish golf clothes.
  • Hospital Shop The hospital is a supermarket, and Dr. Kelso is the cashier. The products are the patients, and if the price is too much for the hospital, they are bagged - in body bags.
  • Star Wars Dr. Cox is Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Dr. Kelso is Darth Vader. They battle with lightsabers. J.D. (Luke Skywalker), Carla and Elliot (Princesses Leia), Turk (Han Solo) and The Janitor (Chewbacca) watch the fight, which is won by Darth Kelso - just like in the original Star Wars film.

"My Bad"


  • Tightrope J.D. and a patient walk a tightrope.
  • Jordan Fantasy J.D. fantasizes about Jordan.
  • Cougar Jordan Jordan growls and scratches at J.D.
  • Surpise Party J.D.'s friends and co-workers throw him a "surprise!" party after something obvious hits him.
  • Dragon Cox Dr. Cox breaths fire on J.D.
  • Plastic Surgery Dr. Cox undergoes a plastic surgery to look like Jimmie Walker, and later Jimmie Walker himself talks to Dr. Kelso.

"My Super Ego"

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  • Choking Nick Nick Murdoch helps J.D. choke him to death.
  • Dog Show Dr. Cox is a judge at a dog show, and judges J.D. and Nick.
  • The Alley Sacred Heart is a scary alley.
  • Passing the Torch J.D. hands a torch to Nick.
  • The End of the Torch Kelso hands the torch back to J.D., who blows it out.

"My Fifteen Minutes"


  • DC's Inferiority Complex Turk is Batman, and J.D. is Robin. J.D. notes that his self-esteem is so low that he is a sidekick in his own fantasy, to which Turk responds that it could be worse in which J.D. was the butler, hence J.D. becomes the butler Alfred.
  • The Ladies' Men J.D. and Turk's fame gets them several ladies to buy them drinks.
  • Shuriken Carla throws shurikens at J.D. after he puts her in an awkward position.
  • J.D. the wrestler J.D. is a pro-wrestler and trash talks Dr. Cox.

"My Day Off"


  • Fat Albert Fat Albert and his crew laugh at several jokes.
  • Icy Hands When Elliot gives J.D. a physical, her hands are so cold he turns to ice.
  • Thinker While being view during rounds, J.D. feels like a statue. Rodhan's "Thinker."
  • Begging for Attention Dr. Cox does a round off - double back handspring - back tuck down the hallway to get Dr. Benson's attention.
  • Frat Boy Turk is a frat boy wearing a toga and a beer helmet.
  • J.D. the Turkey Janitor cuts J.D. with an electric knife, as J.D. imagines he is the Thanksgiving turkey when he has a fever.

"My Nickname"


  • Beach When Turk and J.D. sit on the bench by the parking lot, they see a beautiful beach.
  • Timestopper Time freezes as J.D. waits for Carla to react to his correction of her opinion.
  • Punching Bag J.D. is literally a punching bag and Dr. Cox beats it furiously.
  • Heartrate Monitor A heartrate monitor replays Dr. Cox humiliating J.D.

"My Own Personal Jesus"


  • Sexy Nurse Nurse Tisdale wears a red bikini and is oiled up as she walks down the hallway, a reference to a similar scene in the 1982 film Fast Times at Ridgemont High with Phoebe Cates.
  • Cool J.D. J.D. is The Fonz, and he hits a patient who instantly recovers.
  • Fading Away Turk fades from view as he walks down a hallway.
  • Gospel Turk is the minister at a Baptist church that takes place in the cafeteria. The gospel music makes J.D., Carla, Nurse Roberts, and Janitor dance.
  • The Horrors of Childbirth In a 1950s style video, J.D. explains to an expecting mother and father about how childbirth isn't pretty.
  • Surveillance Dr. Cox talks to J.D. through the television in the break room.
  • Bookstore At a bookstore, Jordan doesn't buy a book entitled "J.D. and Dr. Cox's Shaved the Baby Story".
  • Grinch Dr. Cox is the Grinch.
  • Nativity A nativity scene is made with Meredith being Mary.

"My Blind Date"


  • The Reaper Family The Grim Reaper and his daughter sell cookies in the ICU.
  • Looks are Deceiving Alex comes out of the MRI machine, and is Jimmie Walker.
  • Baseball Elliot is a catcher, and fails miserably at the task

"My Balancing Act"


  • Bricklaying Elliot excretes a brick.
  • Carrot Top Dr. Kelso, in an attempt to scare the interns, removes his face and is shown to be the D-list comedian Carrot Top.

"My Drug Buddy"

  • Marching Band A marching band, including a monkey slamming cymbals together, enters J.D.'s bedroom after Alex says she's ready to have sex with him. The monkey covers its eyes before the cut to the title.
  • Hosing Down Elliot sprays down J.D. and Alex with a fire hose in the on call room.
  • Ikebana J.D. arranges flowers on the bed for when Alex and him have sex.

"My Bed Banter & Beyond"


  • Slapper Elliot Elliot slaps J.D. in the face after he tallies her off as the fifth woman he's slept with.
  • Vagina Transplant A vagina transplant is underway.

"My Heavy Meddle"

  • Project Partners Janitor as Turk's worse project partner.
  • Suicidal J.D. J.D. ties a noose around his own neck while listening to a girl's boring story at the bar.
  • KO J.D. knocks Dr. Cox out.

"My Student"


  • Gazelle J.D. steps forward to scare the "gazelle" med-students.
  • Hulking Out J.D. changes into The Incredible Hulk and begins to destroy the room. He then calmly resumes his duties whilst still transformed.
  • Learning to Bike J.D., in old fashioned clothes, teaches an excited Josh how to ride a bike.

"My Tuscaloosa Heart"


  • Execution J.D. is put blindfolded before a firing squad by Dr. Kelso.
  • Sweating J.D. imagines himself with sweat pouring down his face when Carla tells him not to be nervous.
  • Smoke? Dr. Kelso offers J.D. a cigarette as if he were facing a firing squad.

"My Old Man"

Kelso and Reid box

  • Blue Scrubs Turk as a small child saying he doesn't want to wear blue scrubs after his mother says blue scrubs would look better.
  • Magical Steadman Dr. Steadman appears out of nowhere to ask J.D. for a favor and disappears instantly in a puff of smoke.
  • Boxing Dr. Simon Reid and Dr. Kelso fight in boxing outfits reminiscent of the early 1900s, dancing around and taunting each other.

"My Way or the Highway"

Scrubs Side Story

  • Scrubs Side Story Surgical and Medical doctors sing a chorus as rivals (similar to West Side Story); J.D. and Turk sing to each other upon a balcony of how they are "a Surgeon and a Doc above it all". A scene towards the end of the episode shows Dr. Cox and Dr. Wen singing the same song to each other.
  • Turk's Biatch J.D. and Turk continue their song, but Turk throws J.D. from the balcony, and makes J.D. admit to being his "biatch".
  • Father & Son J.D. runs to tell on Turk - to Dr. Cox, dressed up to be J.D.'s father. Between sobs, J.D. tells him the story as Dr. Cox comforts him.
  • The Surgeon Wins All of J.D.'s patients in the ward, and a nurse all declare they are having surgery. Turk then appears with a large knife and a large smile.

"My Sacrificial Clam"


  • Zombies Sick patients are all around JD, shuffling towards him and making zombie noises

"My Occurrence"


  • Indian Burn Jordan gives Ben an Indian Burn, and his arm actually catches on fire.
  • Doug Screws Up When Doug enters Dr. Bobb's lab, blood is squirted on the window and a hand claws for help.
  • There must be a Mistake The whole of second half of the episode is a fantasy, which started from when J.D. walks into the room with Dr. Cox and Ben putting cards on their foreheads. The fantasy is about J.D. being unable to come to terms with Ben having leukemia. In the fantasy, Carla, Dr. Kelso, and Fred Bobb give him clues that he is imagining a better outcome. The game is up when Ben asks for a posed photo with the whole group.

"My Hero"


  • Superman Part 1 Dr. Cox flies up and out of the window like Superman.
  • The Real World: Sacred Heart When Dr. Cox bails on Ben after he has to start chemotherapy, J.D imagines that he, Ben, Dr. Cox and Jordan are on an episode of MTV's "The Real World".
  • Superman Part 2 J.D. sees Dr. Cox wearing a superhero's red cape, which slips off his shoulders and falls onto the floor.

"My Last Day"


  • Mirror Hallucinations When looking in the mirror, J.D. sees Elliot, The Todd, Dr. Kelso, Jordan, Dr. Cox, Turk, Carla, Ted, and Laverne talking to him about events that have happened over the past year. When he opens the shower, Janitor appears and complains that he isn't one of his "mirror friends" and takes J.D.'s shower head.
  • Roping J.D. and Laverne getting roped into Carla and Turk's argument.
  • Mr. Bober Feeling guilty about trying to get rid of Mr. Bober, J.D. imagines that everybody in the cafeteria is Mr. Bober.

Season Two

"My Overkill"

My Overkill.jpg

  • Colin Hay Part 1 On their way to work, J.D. and Turk pass Colin Hay who starts following J.D. around the hospital singing "Overkill".
  • Suspense After publicly apologizing for sleeping with Jordan, everyone in the cafeteria and on the street stops what they are doing and stares at J.D., and later when he admits he hasn't done anything to treat Mr. Zerbo.
  • Perry's Spit Fountain J.D is being shouted at by Dr. Cox and is enjoying all of the spit that comes out of Dr. Cox's mouth onto him.
  • Floaters Everyone in the hospital floats around.
  • Colin Hay Part 2 While waiting for Colin Hay to stop singing, Dr. Cox becomes impatient and smashes his guitar against a wall.

"My Nightingale"

2x02 JD thong.jpg

  • Hank J.D. imagines a tow truck driver named Hank dancing with a little dog in excitement over a car accident.
  • Thongs J.D. imagines himself dressed as Carla, wearing a black lace thong underneath pink scrubs.

"My Case Study"

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  • Kelso the Butt Kisser Dr. Kelso literally kisses Mrs. Warner's ass to impress her, asking she wants on the cheek or on the fleshy part in the middle.
  • Perm J.D. is impressed with Mrs Warner's son's perm and ask how he could get one himself
  • Happy Kelso Dr. Kelso walks through the hospital in a gleeful mood, dancing with patients and colleagues.
  • Angry Kelso Dr. Kelso walks through the hospital brutally attacking everyone in his path, especially kicking Turk in the crotch.
  • Front Butt Elliot presents a man with a Front Butt as the medical holy grail.

"My Big Mouth"

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  • Slapper Carla Carla slaps everyone, as she is the bad cop.
  • Eeeeeeeeeeeee When Elliot vents at J.D., it registers in his mind as a ringing in his head, just as Dr. Cox described it.
  • Melting J.D. Carla pops her head open to let J.D see goes on in her mind, revealing a bright white light that melts the skin and muscle off of his face, a reference to the 1981 film Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  • Sign Language J.D duct-tapes Turk's mouth shut, and the two along with Carla learn sign language.
  • Tainted Egg Salad Janitor and his cafeteria worker friend Troy bathe in J.D's egg salad.

"My New Coat"

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  • Elliot Makes Out Elliot rips off her shirt and wildly makes out with a Dr. DiStefano.
  • The Confrontation Upon J.D trying to confront Dr. Cox upon the discovery that J.D. didn't screw up, Dr. Cox uncontrollably pees his pants, amongst his stressing.
  • Opera Singer A opera singer proclaims "MISTAAAKE" whenever J.D is about to make a mistake.

"My Big Brother"

2x6 Elliot makes out with Dan.jpg

  • Elliot and Dan make out Dan and Elliot make out in front of J.D
  • Dan the Cool Guy As Dan drives away, J.D. remembers him as the cool guy that he idolized as a kid.

"My First Step"

  • Conference Room An entire conference room is cleared as Kelso insults J.D..
  • Slow Motion Julie As Julie enters the hospital, wind blows and everyone stares. Even the dead wake up to greet her.

"My Fruit Cups"

2x8 Sorority.jpg

  • Compliments J.D. cries when Dr. Cox compliments him.
  • Sorority The OB-GYNs are sorority sisters; they have a pillow fight and make out. When J.D. returns to the fantasy the girls have finished "experimenting" and say they will never do so again.

"My Lucky Day"

  • Breast Signing As J.D. enters the hospital, everybody congratulates him. Nurse Lauren Halston asks him to sign her breasts.

"My Monster"

2x10 JD and Lisa bath Rowdy.jpg

  • The Monster The hospital turns green as the sky darkens and it breathes fire.
  • Bathing Rowdy J.D. bathed Rowdy and then again bathed him with Lisa
  • Give Me A Kiss J.D. imagines that Lisa is his somewhat ugly patient.

"My Sex Buddy"

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  • I Just Got This Thing A couple's new baby gives him opinions about being circumcised.
  • Sex Buddy J.D. imagines trumpet noises whenever someone says, "sex buddy".
  • Shatter-proof Window Carla's patient throws her out of the window after she gives him the bad news about having to miss his son's wedding, but the window is smash-proof and she just bounces off.

"My New Old Friend"

2x12 Todd wrestles Mrs. Kaye.jpg

  • Todd wrestles Mrs. Kaye Todd wrestles Mrs. Kaye for her driver's license before they both stop and begin passionately kissing.
  • Chucked out of Car Dr. Kelso is chucked from his car as it drives past the hospital.
  • Ján Ïtor Janitor goes to a school career day and pretends to be a doctor, and says his name is Dr. Ján Ïtor.

"My Philosophy"

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  • Burlesque Dance Elliot is doing a burlesque dance in the locker room when she attempts to change.
  • My Favourite Show J.D sees telling a patient's husband horrible news as a scene from Candid Camera.
  • Death J.D walks along a corridor, and says good morning to Death, who replies, and then kills one of the doctors.
  • Broadway Musical J.D envisions Elaine, a patient on a heart transplant list, singing 'Waiting for my Real Life to Begin' by Colin Hay along with Turk, Carla, the Janitor, Dr. Kelso, Ted, and Dr. Mitchell during her death.

"My Brother, My Keeper"

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  • Backstabber J.D. removes a knife from Dr. Townshend's back.
  • J.D. Slapper J.D. slaps a patient, Mrs. Francis for not getting up when he asks her to and they have a slapping contest, before Dr. Townshend grabs Mrs. Francis and convinces J.D. to "give her one in the gut". (Deleted scene)

"His Story"

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  • Perry Cox: Group Therapy Dr. Cox is at a meeting with people discussing their problems, but he gets annoyed and whacks whoever talks about their problems around the head with a chair.

"My Karma"

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  • Q-Tips J.D. is the comedian at a comedy club, but gets no laughs from the audience. Turk and a patient do the drums in the background. The theme song from Seinfeld is played throughout the whole fantasy.
  • Demon Baby Jordan gives birth to a demonic baby which jumps on J.D. and starts strangling him.

"My Own Private Practice Guy"

  • Basketball Laverne is incredible at basketball, as she is black.
  • Jay Leno J.D. fantasizes about working at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno as his 'Happy Place'. He then tries to play the guitar but fails miserably
  • Dr. Pacman Dr. Kelso walks round the hospital like Pacman, making pacman noises (Turk's fantasy)
  • Reaction "The Bio Mechanical Reaction of Dr. Perry Cox When He's Not Being Listened To." as hosted by Dr. Peter Fisher.

"My T.C.W."

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  • T.C.W. sex J.D. makes out with Jamie in front of her comatose husband.
  • Haunted J.D. sees Jamie's husband everywhere around the hospital, haunting him as his conscience.
  • Teenage Breastfeeder A teenager still breastfeeds from his mother.

"My Kingdom"

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  • Pimps Part 1 When Turk and J.D. enter the hospital, they are dressed like Pimps and get all the girls, because they are surgeons.
  • Circular Saw Janitor cuts off J.D.'s arm and slaps him with it. When the fantasy ends, it turns out that both J.D. and the Janitor were thinking the same thing.
  • Nerd King J.D. levitates above the table, as King of the Nerds.

"My Interpretation"

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  • More Stones than You do Jordan's Baby with Cox's face, speaking to J.D.
  • Sex Dream Parts 1 and 2 The various sex dreams Turk has of Elliot, including her seducing him in a nurse outfit and him spanking her.
  • 99 Luftballons J.D. repeatedly imagines himself dancing with the German speaking patient to "99 Luftballons", and again with Jamie and her late husband's parents.
  • T.C.W. Shoulder Jamie clings to J.D.'s back as he has a conversation with Dr. Cox.
  • Sex Dream Parts 3 Carla has a sex dream about Ted.

"My Drama Queen"

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  • Rerun Dance Fred Berry first teaches Elliot and Jamie the "rerun dance". Fred Berry then teaches everyone who would have been at Turk's bachelor party the same dance.

"My Dream Job"

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  • Flying Papers J.D. signs papers as they fly through the air.
  • Chocolate King Part 1 J.D. imagines himself as "John Dorian - Chocolate King", and eats Turk's chocolate hand.
  • Chocolate King Part 2 J.D. fantasises about pulling Turk's chocolate ear off his head and eating it.

Season Three

"My Own American Girl"

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  • Empty Cafeteria At 5.00 on a Friday afternoon everyone suddenly disappears from the cafeteria, except J.D. and Steven, who then dances away.

"My Journey"

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  • Marcia Dorian J.D. dreams about his wedding day; the priest asks if he will take "Marcia Brady" to be his wife. The fantasy bride to be is, in fact, Maureen McCormick. However, J.D. insists, saying, "Marcia, please."
  • Purple Tree Car J.D. dreams of Carla telling Janitor to be nice to J.D. and to "bring him a fruit smoothie everyday." Janitor asks in Spanish, "Would he like strawberry or banana?" Carla uncharacteristically stumbles over her Spanish, asking for a "purple tree car with cheese." Janitor cries, "LIAR" in Spanish, yanking off Carla's hair and face, revealing J.D.

"My White Whale"

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  • Monkey Interns All of J.D.'s interns are monkeys and behave as such.
  • Drowning Sean J.D. takes a scantily-clad Elliot on a romantic boat ride, tossing a tied up and gagged Sean overboard and beating him with an oar until he dies from drowning.

"My Lucky Night"

  • Fat Sean J.D. fantasizes that Sean puts on lots of weight from drinking lots of regular sodas (Sean prefers diet). Elliot is upset and moves over to begin making out with J.D. while he watches.

"My Brother, Where Art Thou?"

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  • Toxic Fart Show J.D., Turk, and Dan are dressed in old time clothes performing a synchronised fart show in front of an audience of people who have their shirts pulled up over their noses or wearing gasmasks.

"My Fifteen Seconds"

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  • CHiPs Carla and Elliot met at a CHiPs fan convention, thereby cementing their friendship.
  • Whack-A-Newbie Dr. Cox is playing "Whack-A-Newbie," whacking J.D.'s head instead of moles.

"My Friend the Doctor"

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  • Vanilla Sky Turk jumps out a moving car when Carla suggests they should have a baby, as Turk was the driver, Carla and J.D. go off a bridge and crash. The crash scene is from Vanilla Sky.
  • Turk the Stud As Turk walks through the hospital, everyone sings about him and praises him as he is the "stud" of the hospital.
  • Black J.D. J.D. keeps thinking of him and Elliot kissing. When he is supposed to think of Sean kissing Elliot, Sean turns out to be J.D.. And when he is supposed to think of Turk and Elliot kissing, Turk turns out to be a black J.D.

"My Dirty Secret"

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  • Mrs. Cantwell Elliot goes in to kiss a sexy lady who is 52 but looks 25.
  • Abseiling Carla abseils down Sacred Heart from an upper floor to a lower floor and crashes through a window, so she can give advice.
  • Penis Pump J.D. uses a penis pump like a bicycle pump to fix Mr. Randolph's sexual dysfunction. He makes a giraffe out of the inflated penis like a balloon animal.

"My Rule of Thumb"

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  • Randall Part 1 A karate midget jumps out J.D.'s locker, and punches him in the crotch.
  • Happiness Infection Dr. Cox's breath of happiness spreads around the hospital, and lifts everyone's spirits, most notably Ted's, who was just about to commit suicide.
  • BDSM/Randall Part 2 J.D. walks in on Dr. Cox and Jordan having sex with bondage. There is a large masked man chained up in the corner and suddenly the karate midget jumps out from the shadows and punches J.D. in the crotch.
  • Toilet Paper Danni is in J.D. and Turk's apartment, and she as well as the whole room is covered in toilet roll.
  • Banana Hammocks J.D. is sitting reading a book in the corner of the apartment while men wearing nothing but banana hammocks are dancing round the apartment with Danni.

"My Clean Break"

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  • Ghost J.D. When Danni says she wants to move in with J.D., he imagines a ghost of him floating out of his body as an "out of body experience". Turk offers him Bugles, but J.D. then realizes as a ghost he can't eat Bugles.
  • Bugles Turk has a bugle on each finger, and pretending to be a witch using bugles as witch finger nails, as well as cackling. (This may or may not be a fantasy)
  • Closure Everyone who J.D. owes closure for is lined up in front of him, including Danni and starts explaining old situations. One of these people is a young gay man that J.D. played soccer with, although J.D. had no idea that the man had a crush on him.

"My Catalyst"

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  • Young Cox It's in the past, and a young Dr. Cox, with bleach-blonde hair and an earring walks over to some doctors and announces "Shut up, jackass! I rock!".
  • Brain Surgery Dr. Casey is practicing brain surgery on J.D., and prods certain areas of the brain for J.D. to speak gibberish, then French, then noises for a cow and a sheep.

"My Porcelain God"

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  • Epiphany Toilet Part 1 Dr. Kevin Casey asking The Epiphany Toilet "Why Can't I sit on you? Why?"
  • Rings and Bling At Turk and Carla's wedding, they ask J.D. for the ring, who is dressed as a pimp and doesn't know where the rings are in all the "bling".
  • Epiphany Toilet Part 2 Elliot has an epiphany while on the toilet, she believes a helicopter lands on the roof and she has to do what she can't do herself: intubate a patient. She then sees that the helicopter paramedic is Dr. Casey, and the two lean in to kiss before wakes up from her fantasy/epiphany.

"My Screw Up"

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  • Mole Part 1 In a flashback of when Turk shaves his moustache, there is a close up of his mole with eyes and a mouth and starts talking.
  • Mole Part 2 Turk's mole again orders Carla to "Answer him".
  • Ben Dies In the second half of the episode, Ben is a hallucination, and at one point, acts as a puppeteer while Elliot talks to Dr. Cox upon his suggestion that the doctors are incompetent puppets.

"My Tormented Mentor"

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  • Dr. Monroe The surgeons imagine that Dr. Miller is Marilyn Monroe. She behaves in a ditzy manner, claiming that she gets no blood on her dress, as it predictably blows upwards under a vent
  • Vampires J.D. imagines that Jordan's friends are vampires and they proceed to bite his neck. However he enjoys, noting that he is not typically into the rough stuff.

"My Butterfly"

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  • Randall Part 3 Randall pops out of a patient while Turk is operating.
  • Banjo (Woman plotline) J.D. distracts Dr. Kelso by playing the banjo. (When the butterfly landed on the woman's breasts.)
  • Banjo (Man plotline) Dr. Cox plays the banjo, while Dr. Kelso plays the washboard. (When the butterfly landed on the fat man's chest.)

"My Moment of Un-Truth"

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  • Date Sex Carla and Ron Ramirez are looking for a table in a restaurant, and Carla pushes all the cutlery off the table and starts making out with Ron on it.
  • Five Years Later Five years in the future, Carla tells Turk about her date with Ron Ramirez, which annoys Turk, and J.D. is still living with them.
  • Twenty Years Later Twenty years in the future, Carla tells Turk about her date with Ron Ramirez, but Turk doesn't mind because it was so long ago, but questions why J.D. is still living with them.

"His Story II"

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  • Mailbox In a parody of Stephen King's IT, Carla is hiding in a mailbox and tries to trick Turk into posting the wedding invites.
  • Amputation Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso are pulling on Dr. Miller's arms and both her arms fall off. They then fight each other with the arms.
  • Jellybean Laverne attacks J.D. after he lands a jellybean in between her breasts.

"My Choosiest Choice of All"

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  • Bullhorn Part 1 J.D., who is wearing a viking helmet, announces to Sean and many others with a bullhorn that he and Elliot made love the night before.
  • Cigarette Suit When J.D. kisses Danni, he imagines he's kissing Danni in a giant cigarette costume.
  • Bullhorn Part 2 J.D. pulls up the announcement bullhorn again as the crowd gathers round, but decides not to say what happened with Elliot, to the crowd's displeasure.

Season Four

"My Old Friend's New Friend"

"My Old Friend's New Friend"

  • Wake Up The Sugar Hill Gang appear singing from J.D.'s alarm clock.
  • New Car The Sugar Hill Gang appear singing "Rapper's Delight" in Turk's new car.

"My Office"

  • Light J.D. shouts "hit the water" as a solution to a patient with a lightbulb up his ass.

"My New Game"

  • Heart Transplant Todd pulls out his own heart to save a patient, reveals that he is a homosexual, and dies immediately afterward.

"My First Kill"

"My First Kill"

  • Down Rowdy Rowdy comes to life and attacks Carla.
  • Heavens a diner? J.D. meets some of his old patients in the Heaven diner to find out if he killed any. He had to leave though, as he left his wallet back on Earth.

"Her Story"

"Her Story"

  • Elliot: Wonder Woman Molly becomes Wonder Woman when Todd makes a sexual comment. Molly catches the surgeon in the lasso of truth, forcing him to admit he was in a threesome; and not the cool kind.
  • Elliot being told by Molly about a criminal patient, makes out with the patient.

"My Cake"

"My Cake"

"My Cake"

  • Large space Turk's head is a large open space, with the Sanford & Son theme constantly playing. Molly and Carla are in there, and in Turk's head they are lesbians, and move into a kiss the fantasy stops just before their lips touch.
  • Lesbian in here Molly moves into kiss J.D., but again the fantasy ends just before their lips touch.
  • Gay Jungle Fever Turk moves into kiss J.D., but to J.D.'s relief, his fantasy once again ends just in time.
  • Kabuki J.D. comes into a patient's room dressed as a Kabuki and mimes a blade cutting his throat, before comforting a family about their recent loss.

"My Common Enemy"

  • No sexual tension J.D. and Elliot stand in front of each other naked, but have no romantic feelings for each other at all, and just stand there.

"My Last Chance"

"My Last Chance"

  • Fakers All the old patients are up and dancing around, and then quickly fake being ill as J.D. and Elliot appear.
  • Tiny lingerie Molly is wearing tiny lingerie and waiting for J.D. – a fantasy J.D. uses as a incentive to keep him running to Molly.

"My Malpractical Decision"

"My Malpractical Decision"

  • Stuffed Doug To hide him from Neena, J.D. and Elliot capture Doug is in a cloth sack and throw him out the window onto the parking lot. Janitor passes the sack, looks inside and carries it off. Doug's head is then mounted above Janitor's fireplace while Janitor pretends to read the newspaper.
  • Ball Busting Broadway Neena walks down the corridor wearing a top hat and cane, hitting everyone in the crotch as she passes them as if she were in a broadway musical.
  • Cal Turk A white version of Turk, named Cal Turk, who sells insurance (but only to white people).

"My Female Trouble"

"My Female Trouble"

"My Female Trouble"

  • Race All the doctors sprint to Dr. Kelso's office, taking each other down in the process, so they can get a case from Dr. Kelso. This possibly happened in actuality as Elliot knocks over a guy named Craig, who was elbowed in the face by Elliot during the exchange, and he is seen with a bandage on his nose when Elliot is looking for a male doctor to pretend to be her.
  • J.D. The Janitor J.D. pictured himself as a janitor when the Janitor complains about his job.
  • Witch Jordan is wearing a witch hat and cackling, while everyone runs, screaming; when the fantasy is over, the audience sees Jordan playing with a witch hat and that it was her fantasy instead of J.D.'s.
  • Stomach Tattoo J.D. gets a tattoo of Neena's face on his stomach, and the back of her head on his back.
  • Kill Bill Jordan and Neena dress in sweatsuits, wielding swords, and fight each other.
  • Regression J.D., Turk, & Dr. Cox are rendered into small children around strong, confident women.

"My Unicorn"

  • Unicorn The Unicorn on J.D.'s journal talks to J.D.

"My Best Moment"

  • Surgical Theater J.D. imagines a black family watching Turk perform surgery as if they are at a movie theater. They are acting like the stereotypical black movie-goers – shouting "don't go behind the kidney, there's a tumor in there!", before getting scared and screaming while chucking their food around in terror.

"My Ocardial Infarction"

"My Ocardial Infarction"

  • Six Arms J.D. imagines Elliot with six arms as she is so good in high stress medical situations, so good she can even do a crossword at the same time.
  • Turk the patient Turk sees himself as his surgery patient after finding out that he is amputating the patient's foot due to diabetes.

"My Lucky Charm"

"My Lucky Charm"

  • Turk the leprechaun J.D. imagines meeting a black Irish "brother". The fantasy shows Turk dressed as a leprechaun dancing with some Irish dancers.

"My Hypocritical Oath"

  • Hangman J.D. and Kylie play hangman as a way of getting around The Hippocratic Oath.

"My Quarantine"

  • Indiana Jordan The hospital goes into automatic lock down, Jordan runs for the exit and slides under the door. Her hat blows off and she reaches quickly to grab it. This is a reference to Indiana Jones with the background music and Jordan's hat falling off.

"My Life in Four Cameras"

"My Life in Four Cameras"

  • Sitcom J.D. imagines that life is a sitcom.

"My Roommates"

"My Roommates"

  • Laughing Teddy Kylie's teddy bear laughing at J.D..
  • Jam Face J.D. predicts that Janitor will slather jam on his face and fill the room with raccoons if he takes up the offer to sleep in his garage.
  • Choir Boys Sing A light shines down upon Kylie's bed accompanied by singing choir boys.

"My Best Laid Plans"

  • Temptation J.D. sees Molly in sexy lingerie tempting him in the hallways.
  • Mr Peep's British J.D.'s penis speaks in a British accent and interacts with J.D.'s narration.
  • Brushing J.D. brushes Molly's hair back, which he predicts will lead to a kiss, and then to sex.

"My Boss's Free Haircut"

  • Carnival J.D. imagines the word "carnival" above his head and turns it into "Carla".

"My Lips Are Sealed"

  • Sweaty J.D. and Turk sweat profusely.
  • Messenger Monkey A quick thinking J.D. closes the window so Elliot's messenger monkey cannot tell Turk that he and Carla kissed.

"My Big Move"

  • Turk: Worried Turk is haunted by visions of J.D. and Carla together, making out next to the OR and flirtatiously eating sweet potato fries.

"My Faith in Humanity"

"My Faith in Humanity"

  • Comfortable J.D. imagines that the saying "make you as comfortable as possible" as meaning filling the entire room with all the cotton balls from the hospital and letting the patient lay in them.

Season Five

"My Intern's Eyes"

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  • Sacred Heart Horse Hospital Sacred Heart is now a hospital which treats patients like horses, with all the staff carrying round shotguns and putting anyone down who is ill.

"My Rite of Passage"

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  • See Your Death J.D. pushes all his interns off the roof one by one in a game called See Your Death. J.D. especially taunts Keith before pushing him off the building, with Keith opining that he trusted him.

"My Day at the Races"

  • Kung Fu Fighting Turk gets Dr. Wen's briefcase, but hundreds of surgical ninjas attempt to fight him for it, before being betrayed by Todd for it (which ended up happening for real).
  • The Dolphin Suit During the triathlon, when Elliot is trying to talk to J.D. about Jake, he fantasizes that she's in a dolphin suit.

"My Jiggly Ball"


  • Turkiot J.D. imagines having the "best of both" with Elliot and Turk, in the form of a hybrid named "Turkiot" who is goofy, plays computer games and lets J.D. touch their boobies.
    • Note: Because of the blackface used in this scene, the episode has been removed from streaming platforms.
  • Stop Imagining/Start Fondling Elliot realizes J.D. is fantasizing about feeling her boobies, but then tells J.D. to stop imagining and start "fondling" and she then starts offering herself to him.
  • Angel Bob Dr. Kelso is lit up and described as "an angel".
  • Got your job Back As the future progresses, years after the current time, Elliot is still repaying and doing favors for J.D., Carla and Turk for getting her job back, including transplanting her hands onto J.D.'s chest.

"My Missed Perception"


  • Indiana Turk Turk searches a patient's body in the style of Indiana Jones, as it is exploratory surgery.
  • Dr. Acula Part 1 J.D. imagines one of the scenes of Dr. Acula: Dr. Acula bites a patient's neck, drinks her blood, spits it into a vial, and tells Keith to take the blood to the lab and have it tested.
  • Rainstorm A rainstorm occurs over the table J.D. is sitting on, because feeling guilty "is like having a rainstorm over your head".

"My Way Home"

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  • Baby Dominoes Turk is in the Sacred Heart nursery, and picks up his baby from the bassinet, but knocks over whole row of bassinets with babies in.
  • Unseen Monkey Fantasy When Carla says "There's a monkey at the zoo who can do that. I mean, you know, when he's not playing with himself", J.D. pauses before he responds, and tilts his head as if he is going into an unseen fantasy.

"My Big Bird"

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  • Pregnant Turk Ted asks Carla what she would do with $100,000,000 and she says she would spend it on giving Turk a male pregnancy.
  • Janitor's shark Carla Espinosa asks Janitor "what would you do with $100,000,000?" The Janitor then has a fantasy of owning a trained shark, so he can invite JD over and have it attack him.
  • Floating Head Doctor Part 1 When Carla asks J.D. the same question, he responds with the floating-head doctor fantasy.
  • Jewish Robot Wedding Elliot dreams of spending her share of the lotto winnings on a Jewish Robot husband.
  • Jordan Incubator Dr. Cox spends his share on a glass box to keep Jordan in, complete with hammer to smash the box in case of "sex emergency".

"My Half-Acre"

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  • Breast Pop Julie pops the breast of the waitress on her and J.D.'s first date. (Fantasy by Julie)
  • J.D.'s Wigs Julie and J.D. make out, except it's really Elliot in a J.D. wig.
  • Whit Prowdy Elliot appears in a real estate sign, warning J.D..

"Her Story II"

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  • J.D.: Banshee Carla is insulted, so turns into a banshee and screams so ferociously that all the glass in the hospital smashes, including Turk, who is nicknamed "Glass man".
  • Carla: Baby Staff Members Carla imagines everyone in diapers when she can't stop thinking of babies, including J.D. (who proceeds to wet himself in a diaper).

"My Buddy's Booty"

  • Prehistoric Booty Call J.D., as a caveman, makes a booty call.

"My Cabbage"

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  • The Sign of Infection Throughout the episode, infection is shown as a green mark wherever it is on the body.
  • Pumpkin Turk After Carla tells Turk he's forgetful, JD imagines Turk mistaking his and Carla's baby for a pumpkin, who they decide to keep and raise, until its graduation twenty one years later, where it's dropped and smashes. Their real son then appears, recognizing his parents, but is then hit by a bus. This fantasy is noted for being almost a minute long.

"My Five Stages"

  • Angry J.D. J.D. bites the eraser off of a pencil angrily to spite Hedrick.

"My Own Personal Hell"

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  • Retirement Home J.D. imagines living with a lot of old people.

"My Extra Mile"

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  • Genitalia Switching
Sometimes you've got to go the extra mile with patients. That's what makes me such a special doctor.J.D.

That and your amazing ability to switch back and forth, seamlessly, between male and female genitalia.Dr. Cox
Following this phrase, J.D. attempts to visualize the idea of swapping male and female genitalia back and forth, only to be pulled back to reality by Dr. Cox before the fantasy can be shown to the audience.
  • Misplaced charts Doctors don't know about their patients without the use of charts, even when the symptoms are obvious, such as a patient having a kitten stuck in his mouth.

"My Bright Idea"

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  • Grandfather Kennel J.D. goes to a "Grandfather Kennel" to find a new grandpa.

"My Chopped Liver"

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  • Brick House J.D. replaces his butt with Turk's much larger one by a transplant.
  • The Bowling Alley The Krishna guys (My Extra Mile) recognize J.D. at the bowling alley when one of them looks at him, takes his pencil and 'erases' J.D.'s hair with it.Then Turk's old fraternity brothers also recognize him, after one of them 'paints' his face black with his pen, reminding them of a prank he and Turk once pulled at their frat house, for which J.D. got beat up by them.

"My New Suit"

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  • Gay Baby Turk At Turk and Carla's baby's ultrasound, they determine if the baby is gay by playing "Macho Man" and watching it dance.

"His Story III"

  • Janitor: Hover-Hoover The Janitor invents the Hover-Hoover, a flying vaccuum cleaner which he uses to fly up to the third floor to clean a room for Elliot.
  • Janitor: If I wasn't There The Janitor thinks about what would happen if he wasn't there. The only difference is, that a nurse wouldn't be impregnated by him.

"My Lunch"

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  • Kidneys Dr. Cox and Dave cut out J.D.'s kidneys while he is in a bath tub full of ice.

"My Fallen Idol"

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  • Pilgrim FuneralJ.D. as a pilgrim burying a 12 year old.
  • Donkey-Boy J.D. imagines that a patient called 'Donkey-Boy' actually has a donkey's head.
  • Public Service Announcement J.D. performs a public service announcement on Münchausen Syndrome.

"My Déjà vu, My Déjà vu"

  • Anti-Coffee Ad J.D. finds an espresso maker under his future son, Billy's, bed. Billy claims he learned how to make coffee from watching J.D.
  • Floating Head Doctor Part 2 Head convinces Dr. Cox to apologize to Elliot, body brings her to him but accidentally kills her.

"My Urologist"

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  • Dr. Acula Part 2 J.D. realizes he likes Kim but since she is married, he can't make her his. He then turns into Dr. Acula and bites Kim on the neck in order to make her his for eternity.

"My Transition"

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  • Light Speed Conversation J.D. sees Kim and Elliot communicating at the speed of light and fantasizes about slowing it down so humans can understand it.
  • Floating Head Doctor Part 3 J.D. wonders how he can make dinner and go to karaoke in the same night. His solution? Floating Head Doctor. Head is shown singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" on stage with Kim.
  • Elliot Reid: Moment Killer When Elliot barges in on Kim and J.D., he sees her enter the room as "Elliot Reid: Moment Killer". It happens a second time when J.D. finds out Elliot is taking Kim to a Neil Diamond concert that will preclude Kim from going out on a second date with him.

Season Six

"My Mirror Image"

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  • Mirror Image The three patients fade into J.D., Dr. Cox and Janitor.

"My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby"

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  • Adoption Issues When discussing cons of putting the baby up for adoption, J.D. fantasies about an older version of himself hitting on a young woman in a bar, not noticing the photo of himself in her locket, the only photo of her birth father.
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of adoption.J.D.

You think if it's a girl, you'd doink her?Kim
I know I will.

  • No Abortions Laverne objects to J.D. and Kim's option of abortion by placing a small figurine of Jesus on the counter, which comes to life in J.D.'s eyes, and Jesus insists that there should be no abortions. Jesus later chastises them for having pre-marital sex.
  • Justin the Unicorn When J.D. and Kim split up to do some soul-searching, J.D. flashes to his stuffed unicorn Justin, who he goes to when needing to make big decisions.

"My House"

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  • Kittens A patient codes due to Broken Heart Syndrome and J.D. treats him with a box of kittens.
  • Sex at the Airport J.D. runs to the airport to tell Kim that he completely supports her decision to take the job. They then have sex in front of everyone in the departures lounge, who applaud.

"My Friend with Money"

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  • Carnivorous Jordan Dr. Cox brings a goat home for Jordan to eat. She devours the goat raw, but Dr. Cox pulls it out unfinished despite Jordan complaining that she hadn't finished yet.
  • Bouncy Floors Instead of J.D. and Elliot replacing their apartment's floors with wood, they use trampolines and bounce around - which ends in injury.
I like bouncing...but it is dangerous!J.D.

"My Musical"

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  • Musical The majority of the episode is a semi-fantasy, as Patti Miller sees everyone singing due to her brain tumour causing her to hallucinate. However, J.D. does not have any fantasies.

"His Story IV"

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  • Dr. Kelso: Magic 8 Ball Dr. Kelso uses Ted's head as a human magic eight ball. However, this is revealed to be real when Ted falls over, dizzy, in another scene.
  • Dr. Kelso: Ling Part 1 Dr. Kelso in Navy dress uniform, walks up to a Vietnamese woman and carries her off while "Up Where We Belong" Plays (in Vietnamese)
  • Dr. Kelso: Ling Part 2 A Vietnamese woman in Navy dress uniform walks up to "nurse" Kelso and carries him off - "Up Where We Belong" reprise

"My Road to Nowhere"

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  • Knight Rider The RV drives itself, "Knight Rider"-style, under the name of "Jonathan 3000". However, J.D. gets creeped out when the RV asks him to wipe some dust of the dashboard and enjoys it a bit too much.

"My Perspective"

  • FrankenJ.D. On confessing to a DUI, JD dressed as Frankenstein's monster, is attacked by an angry mob in the hospital foyer wielding sticks and flaming torches.

"My Therapeutic Month"

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  • Angels Anne Chase appears to resemble an angel, but it revealed that Laverne was holding a set of feathers behind her. J.D. then notices that Laverne flies away, causing J.D. to remark that it was weird. She then flies a second time while J.D. is seeing a patient. This is symbolic of her upcoming injury and eventual death.

"My Night to Remember"

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  • Fantasy Montage One of the flashbacks is all the best fantasies that J.D. has had in the last six seasons.
  • Breakfast Machine Turk is a "big breakfast machine", with a set of udders which dispense milk and is also a source of bacon.

"My Fishbowl"

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  • Alice Cox Dr Cox as "the maid from The Brady Bunch", also known as Alice nelson.
  • Roger Dorsey The fish Janitor is holding talks to him, claiming to be Roger Dorsey, a Vietnam colleague of Dr Kelos's – although this is Janitor's imagination, not J.D.'s.
  • Fart Rocket Turk has an explosive fart.

"My Scrubs"

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  • Medical Advances J.D. fantasizes over "how much worse just a few years ago" the surgery on Maggie's foot would have been – amputation in medieval times. In that fantasy, he fantasizes about how much worse medicine was before that – clubbing her to death as a caveman with Turk. After subsequently killing Turk as well, the signature sad theme plays and J.D. narrates his thoughts in "caveman talk".
  • Scrubs are back When Kelso allows the staff to have their colorful scrubs again, the entire staff runs down a hallway in Scared Heart, jumping with glee into a freeze-frame

"My No Good Reason"

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  • Booby Horn The Todd "gets word out" using a "Booby horn".
  • Ugly Elliot Turk imagines Elliot as a hairy man, proving his statement to JD that "any time you hook up with a chick, she automatically becomes hideous to me." This contradicts an earlier episode in which Turk had a sex dream about Elliot.
  • Threesome J.D. tries to convince Turk that he had sex with Heather in order for Turk to put her in the same situation as with Elliot. However it fails when J.D. claims he had a threesome with Kristin, a popular girl from high school, who also happened to know Heather's name. In addition it is reveal that three jocks who bullied J.D. turn out to be gay with each other and proceed to go and have a threesome themselves. Their jackets are emblazoned TCW, which is an homage to either Jamie Moyer or to the high school in Remember the Titans, in which Donald Faison appeared.

"My Long Goodbye"

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  • Bad News Robot Sacred Heart has a robot that delivers bad news, named "Bad News Robot", however it breaks down and has to be treated in Sacred Heart, and when the robot's family comes to visit, they vaporize J.D. out of anger.
  • Pearl Harbor To keep Jordan occupied J.D. does a shadow puppet dog, and when Jordan accuses it of being lame, he calls in a group of doctors to assist him in performing a shadow-puppet reenactment of Pearl Harbor – which works well, until Ted includes a crocodile in the reenactment.
  • Luminous Uterus Elliot's uterus glows when it detects that Jordan has given birth.

"My Words of Wisdom"

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  • J.D.'s Funeral The gospel at J.D.'s funeral sings "Party All The Time", while his casket is standing up so everyone can hug him goodbye. Elliot reveals that J.D. was the only person she never faked it with. Dr. Cox admits he loves J.D. and hugs him, and J.D. reveals it was an elaborate set-up to get Dr. Cox to admit it. Dr. Cox then snaps J.D.'s neck which is "worth it" to J.D.

"Their Story"

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  • Ted: Ted's Hair Ted has great hair, which attracts two ladies with whom he makes out with. He then gets stressed out about having to choose conditioner, knocking over some shelves in a grocery store, and accidentally killing his mother.
  • Todd: Crotch Stuffing Todd has a conversation with his son, Rod while they both wear banana hammocks. They both admit that they stuff their banana hammocks with socks.
  • Jordan: Jordan! Jordan is the host of a talk show entitled "Jordan!" She gets bored by a guest with cancer, and then dances with a girl who looks just like her.
  • J.D.: Gnomes While talking with Todd, J.D. goes off into an unseen fantasy – Todd's internal narration notes that he must now wait for J.D. to "snap out of it with some weird comment"-, J.D. coming out of the fantasy to claim that he would need a lot of gnomes in order to change Turk's mind.

"My Turf War"

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  • Twister Elliot and Melody scream so loud, rushing winds blow people and things through the hallways of the hospital. It is stopped by looking at a picture of Isabella Turk.
  • Turk's Booty Breakdown During Turk's Booty Breakdown, a sports-like introduction of Melody, we learn she is 5'4", 103lbs, single, has green eyes, perfect feet, and works as a hotel reviewer for Zagat.

"My Cold Shower"

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  • Married to Elliot Turk, Dr. Cox, the Janitor, Carla, Kelso and J.D. all have fantasies in which they are married to Elliot:
    • Janitor having a family of six children with her. The three girls are dressed as doctors and the three boys are dressed as janitors. Elliot asks if Janitor thinks that they're "pigeonholing" the children, to which Janitor responds it doesn't matter as the children aren't theirs anyway.
    • Dr. Cox growing frustrated with how annoyingly neurotic she is and ends up murdering her two days after their marriage. He is consequently arrested and told he is going to "fry". After the fantasy, Cox states that it was "worth it".
    • Turk putting on a stereotypical white highbrow accent, living a stereotypically WASP lifestyle with Elliot and talking to her before she goes to work. After she leaves, he cheats on her with the hot Latina maid "Lupita" (Carla). After the fantasy, Turk complains that he hasn't had sex in so long that he's fantasizing about his own wife.
    • Dr. Kelso and Elliot dining on opposite ends of a very long table. She says, "I hate you," before Kelso says "I know." After the fantasy, Kelso says, "different wife, same story."
    • Carla relaxing with Elliot, with them planning to have "tender, emotional sex" , then cuddle, and then go shoe shopping, at which point they kiss each other. Upon returning to reality, Carla wistfully says "life would be so much simpler..."
    • J.D. and Elliot relaxing on the couch. J.D. saying he is happy Elliot is his wife, and Elliot agreeing, followed by a kiss.
  • Narnia J.D. imagines a magical trip to Narnia with Melody being a lonely mermaid and Turk being half goat.

"My Conventional Wisdom"

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  • Dr. Toilet J.D. can't resist using his "colleague" Dr. Toilet (a diagnosing toilet).
  • Process of Elimination Dr. Cox explains to Elliot that she is only marrying Keith because he is her last resort after weeding out the women and the gays, the too poor, the too old, the ones who just barely beat the rap for murdering their first wife (i.e. Dr. Mickhead), and of course Ted.

"My Rabbit"

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  • Rabbit J.D.'s conscience tells him what to do. His conscience is a gym teacher with a rabbit mask on, because he was afraid of a gym teacher in high school, and his uncle once ate rabbit and got stomach worms.
  • Halloween J.D.'s child is out trick or treating and a woman giving him sweeties recognizes him under a mummy costume because of his large head.
  • Tickling Sam J.D. is tickling his child on a couch at home and Kim comes to join them.

"My Point of No Return"

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  • Legged Plant Dr. Cox makes everyone in the hospital lobby leave, including a potted plant (he says "All living things."), which grows cartoon legs so it can run away.
  • My New Urologist The urologist who replaces Kim tells Dr. Kelso a bad joke, who responds by telling the urologist that he hates him.
  • Tennis Bracelet Carla admires her new diamond tennis bracelet while Turk revels in the fact he got to "do the thing all guys want but we [women] swore we would never do".

Season Seven

"My Own Worst Enemy"

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  • Who Carezies Awards. The contestants are J.D., Elliot, The Todd, and Turk. J.D. wins.

"My Hard Labor"

"My Inconvenient Truth"

  • Muscles Wanted The female hospital staff weigh Turk & J.D. and stamp them "Tubbo" and "Muscles Wanted", respectively.

"My Identity Crisis"

  • Sweet Dreams Carla dreams (in English, then later in Spanish) that Turk conspires with J.D. and Elliot to kill her so that J.D. will have Turk all to himself and that Elliot will finally have a baby.
  • Risky Business The Risky Business underwear scene is replicated featuring Dr. Cox, J.D., Turk and the Todd

"My Growing Pains"

  • Feeding time J.D. tries to imagine what Sammy's fantasies are like. He fantasizes about all the men of Sacred Heart having breasts for Sam to feed from.

"My Number One Doctor"

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  • Unicorns As a way of repaying J.D, Turk gets J.D. a unicorn, however it is just two guys in a unicorn costume.
    • The subsequent fantasy shows Turk getting J.D. another unicorn, this one is just a white horse with a horn stuck on its head.

"My Bad Too"


  • Amigoville J.D. and Turk go to Amigoville for accepting the Mexican workers for who they really are. Amigoville is a picnic in a beautiful park with giant churros and a lake of guacamole. Turk gets a massage from twin Carlas, but J.D. is kicked out for not knowing Spanish.

"My Manhood"

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  • Plant Turk J.D. and Turk plant Turk's testicle in a garden under "perfect conditions." Months later they return and find a plant-Turk. Turk plans to use him to do "husband stuff" for Carla while he goofs off, only to be disappointed that the plant-Turk can't talk. He turns out to be very uncooperative and aggressive.
  • Balls Less Olympian An Olympic athlete asks his doctor to surgically remove his testicles, and possibly genitalia, to improve his running ability.

"My Dumb Luck"

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  • Love Train While herding elderly patients to new rooms, J.D. fantasies them riding a Love Train composed of a tiny train engine and wheel chairs while disco lights and confetti make it all the more fun.
    • Later, when Dr. Cox is bringing some doctors to the board meeting, J.D. imagines them riding the Love Train.

"My Waste of Time"

  • Ball Mart Turk and J.D. visit Ball Mart a parody of Wal-Mart, where Turk must buy a new testicle
  • Fishing trip Turk, Dr. Cox, Todd & J.D. go on a fishing trip when they use Turk's prosthetic ball to keep them warm
  • Legal Custodians sitcom featuring the Janitor and Ted as parents.

"My Princess"

  • The episode is set in a fairy tale fantasy world.

Season Eight

"My Jerks"

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  • Sexy Slo Mo When Dr. Maddox walks into the hospital, she is walking in sexy slow-motion.
  • Shockingly Nice Dr. Cox can't resist smiling at Dr. Maddox so he shocks his head with a defibrillator.

"My Last Words"

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  • Die Already Dr. Maddox suffocates a patient with a pillow.
  • Sexy Slo Mo The new administrative assistant, who is very cute, walks in sexy slow motion.
  • Old Slow Mo An elderly woman patient walks in sexy slow motion.
  • Stuffed J.D Rather than being buried or cremated, J.D. is stuffed like Rowdy when he dies and stays at Carla and Turk's apartment.

"My Saving Grace"

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  • Everywhere you look Dr. Maddox appears everywhere, including inside a patient during surgery.
  • I Love You J.D. tells Dr. Maddox he loves her and she steps in front of an ambulance.

"My Happy Place"

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  • Lets get it on Turk's hand reaches for J.D.'s hand on bedsheets. (Elliot suggested them making love.)
  • Think of me in that way Elliot poses as a sexy cavewoman in Coffee Bucks.
  • Serious Talk As J.D. and Elliot have a serious conversation about their relationship, nothing else is visible except for them and their table.

"My ABC's"

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  • I'll be watching you John Dorian! Oscar the Grouch lives in the trash can part of the Janitor's cleaning cart, and has become the new Chief of Medicine.
  • Grover Five Grover is a doctor who loves high-4's.
  • Explains many things A muppet is diagnosed as having a hand in his head.
  • She your woman? Elmo role plays with J.D. and flirts with Denise.

"My Cookie Pants"

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  • Worth it Turk gas-bombs Elliot and J.D. and runs in once they fall to the floor and steals their cookies

"My New Role"

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  • You never introduce me to your friends Frank Vaughn moves in with J.D. and the two quarrel like lovers.

"My Lawyer's in Love"

  • Outtake: Ted and Stephanie start having sex, and J.D. is horrified by the sight of Ted's butt.

"My Comedy Show"

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  • Late Turk is late for the comedy show and J.D. imagines that he slaps Turk in the face several times because he is so upset that Turk was late for something that is so important to him.
  • Awesome this side J.D. and Turk sit on the same side of the table at lunch in the cafeteria and talk about their day.

"My Nah Nah Nah"

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  • The place for sports J.D. is the "Worst Athlete in the World" featured on SportsCenter.
  • Breaking the news Turk gives Rich Hill a greeting card that explains his son is going to be paralyzed, which is a softer way of breaking the news.
  • Flat Butt J.D. reminisces about the first time he told Turk about Elliot.
  • Involuntary luge J.D. participates in the "involuntary luge" thanks to Dr. Cox strapping him to a gurney and pushing him down a hallway.

"Their Story II"

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  • J.D.: J.D. and Turk walk like pimps, mirroring an earlier fantasy. ("My Kingdom")
  • Derek: Turk rips out a patient's organs in anger at J.D.
  • Denise: Elliot sings "I told you so" in different languages.

"My Full Moon"

  • Turk: Japanese Models Turk is a mechanic working on a patient as if they were a car, and gives advice in a jumpsuit to a patient's family member.

"My Soul on Fire, Part 1"

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  • Tiki's for sale Barry Williams sells the cursed Tiki dolls he obtained in The Brady Bunch Goes to Hawaii.
  • Professor Five The group from Sacred Heart learns where Todd started high-fiving: his university in the Bahamas, where his professor gives the best high-fives. The professor's high fives are capable of causing earthquakes.

"My Chief Concern"

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  • Running the place J.D. fantasizes about Turk and him running the hospital, complete with the Janitor locked in a crate like a wild animal, constant free pudding for him and Turk, and scantily clad female nurses and doctors.

"My Finale"


  • Sitcom Finale J.D. imagines his leaving would be like the ending of a series finale of a sitcom and turns out the light and hospital power with one switch, causing all electronic medical equipment to go off as well. This causes the staff to go crazy, until J.D. turns it back on (and comments on how ridiculous it is to have one switch controlling all the hospital's power).
  • Lined the halls During J.D.'s final walk down the hallway, he imagines two long lines of most previous speaking-characters from the show, living and dead, wishing him goodbye.
  • Ideal life J.D. walks out of the hospital for the last time and sees his future projected on his "Goodbye J.D." banner. He watches his marriage to Elliot, life with a pregnant Elliot, and a Christmas spent at the Turks with Dr. Cox and Jordan sometime after Carla and Elliot's respective pregnancies. J.D.'s son (presumably Sam) gets engaged to Turk and Carla's daughter, Izzy. This may not be a fantasy, however, since J.D. says, as he drives away, "Who's to say my fantasies won't come true, just this once?", implying that the future he fantasized about will actually happen. Also, there is no flash like with his other fantasies, further implying that the future he saw will happen.

Season Nine

"Our First Day of School"

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  • Lucy: Passion Lucy immediately begins making out with Cole after he hits on her.
  • Lucy: On The Run Lucy is on the run from Dr. Cox, who is dressed as a sheriff with two dogs.

"Our Drunk Friend"

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  • J.D.: Wingmom A "wingmom" is an angel that flys into J.D.'s bedroom at night.
  • Lucy: Lifetime Movie "Courage To Heal: The Lucy Bennett Story", a Lifetime movie featuring Antonio Sabato, Jr. as Alan.

"Our Role Models"

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  • J.D.: Spooky Mask Drew's mask tattoo is a spooky phantom that scares J.D. twice.
  • Lucy: Dodge-Ball Dr. Cox's class is like second grade gym. Dr. Cox is the coach and he plays dodge-ball with the students.

"Our Histories"

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  • Lucy: Reliable Friends Cole, Drew, and Maya grab Lucy and throw her under a bus.
  • J.D.: Hava Nagila J.D. and Turk are hoisted in the air as if it were their Bar Mitzvah.
  • Lucy: War Buddies The med students are war buddies fighting in a battle.

"Our Mysteries"

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  • J.D.: Inter-racial Hardy Boys J.D. and Turk are the "Inter-racial Hardy Boys"
  • Lucy: Roller Disco Needle During the exam, Lucy repeats to herself "The needle is my friend." She then visualizes dancing with J.D. who is dressed in a giant needle costume.

"Our New Girl-Bro"

  • Lucy: He done gone to Zion Turk mourns J.D.'s departure by having a New Orleans-style funeral for him.

"Our White Coats"

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  • Lucy: Horses Hate People Lucy is upset over reading a newspaper article which says that scientists taught horses how to talk, and that the horses hate humans.

"Our Stuff Gets Real"

  • J.D.: Baby-moon A baby-moon is two babies going on a beach vacation.
  • Lucy: I see dead people Ben comes to life and talks to Lucy.
    • Ben pleads with Lucy to not cut him.
    • Ben feels discomfort when Lucy cuts him.

"Our True Lies"

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  • Lucy: Old Age Dr. Cox keeps the med students and Denise in the lecture hall for so long, that they are now old, except Cole, because he made a deal with a witch.

"Our Driving Issues"

  • Lucy: Pinball Wizard Trang is like a pinball, bouncing between objects around the hospital.
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