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Listen up, faces. In order to save us all some time I will call all the males Daves and all the females Debbies.Dr. Kelso

"His Story IV" is the seventh episode of Scrubs' sixth season. Dr. Robert Kelso is the narrator of this episode as he struggles to maintains people's respect for him after the debate over the Iraq War causes problems thereby dividing the hospital. Meanwhile, J.D. spends the day researching the Iraq War, which he knows nothing about.


Elliot reveals she is Republican

Once again, J.D. gives up narration for the duration of the episode, this time to Sacred Heart's chief of medicine, Dr. Bob Kelso. He has become lazy and sees only one patient a day; and today it's an injured Iraq War Soldier, Brian Dancer, who after a head injury is suffering from memory loss. The theme of the Iraq War spreads throughout the hospital like an infection, and the hospital is divided between pro-war Republicans (Laverne, & Elliot among others) and the anti-war Democrats (Turk & Perry and many others). However, the war debate starts taking priority over other patients, including Dancer himself, who falls unconscious but is saved by Dr. Kelso's quick thinking. Bob realizes that the discussion about the war is causing trouble, but is focusing on making staff like him more through numerous methods, including filling in for Carla as Head Nurse. However, after hearing the nurses talking about him, Dancer tells him how sometimes it isn't about making people like you, but uniting everyone else instead - so Dr. Kelso does exactly this and removes Coffee Bucks' employee discount, except for his own, so that instead of the staff arguing with each other, they are again united in their hate for him and again back to treating patients. J.D. then arrives back from spending the whole day reading up on the Iraq War to find that no one wants to discuss it anymore, except for Janitor who makes J.D. realize he still doesn't know very much.

Recurring Themes


  • Dr. Kelso uses Ted's head as a human magic eight ball. However, this is hinted to be real when Ted falls over, dizzy, in another scene.
  • Dr. Kelso in Navy dress uniform, walks up to an Asian woman and carries her off while "Up Where We Belong" plays.
  • An Asian woman in Navy dress uniform walks up to "nurse" Kelso and carries him off - "Up Where We Belong" reprise.


Laverne disapproves of Elliot's excessive hairspray use

  • Dr. Kelso handles requests by shredding them, and has Ted play a pre-recorded message for all of his patients.
  • Dr. Kelso remembers how politics have affected the hospital staff in the past
    • Laverne argues that Elliot's excessive use of hairspray contributes to global warming.
    • Carla is against killing animals for sport, but Janitor supports killing animals if it serves a useful purpose, such as turning a dead rabbit into a salt shaker/pepper mill.

Janitor story

Ok, in my opinion we should be looking for Bin Laden in Pakistan. - Janitor

When J.D. comes back from researching the Iraq War, Janitor is the only person who wants to discuss it, but makes J.D. realize he still knows very little.

Point to Iraq on this globe.Janitor

[J.D. tries his luck and points randomly on the globe]

That's China.

You're China!
I'm China? What an outrageous accusation.

Guest Stars

Lindsay Ravage as Debbie, or Slagathor, as Dr. Kelso now calls her


     List of music featured in Scrubs

  • "Up Where We Belong" by Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes (sung in Vietnamese)
  • "Thrift Store T-Shirt" by Brent Jordan


So, Pluto's not a planet anymore, what's up with that?! - Kelso

Iraq? You know how controversial that topic is, Bob; quick, change the subject!Dr. Kelso's narration

So, Pluto's not a planet anymore, what's up with that?!Dr. Kelso
Well played, Bobby...Dr. Kelso's narration

Point to Iraq on this globe.Janitor

Why do you carry a globe around?J.D.
In case I get lost.

[J.D. tries his luck and points randomly on the globe]

That's China.

You're China!
I'm China? What an outrageous accusation.

Don't you get it Turk? All the terrorists want to do is kill you. They want to kill you!Elliot

Elliot, if you...Turk
Kill you!

Well, even though no one ever comes, every time I hit this nurse's button I feel a little better.Brian Dancer

That's morphine.Dr. Kelso
That explains it.

"I like laughing at poor people." -Elliot Reid

"I enjoy laughing at poor people." -Elliot Reid, April 2006Coffee Cup's "Quote of the Month"

When I said that, I was watching Good Times!Elliot

"My Bajingo's on fire" - Elliot Reid, May 2004Coffee Cup's "Quote of the Month"

What's a Bajingo?Brian Dancer

Listen up, faces. In order to save us all some time I will call all the males Daves and all the females Debbies.Dr. Kelso

Debbie's actually my name!Slagathor
Then out of fairness to the others, you will be Slagathor. Daves, Debbies, Slagathor, I will be in my office, if you need anything, feel free to bother Dorian.

You know what's so messed up? I just got to the point where President Bush gave his "mission accomplished" speech on a battleship and I still got, like, 400 more pages to go.J.D. on Iraq War for Dummies book


  • In this episode it is revealed that Keith and Dr. Mickhead are Republicans. While Elliot also reveals herself to her peers as a Republican, she told J.D. that she is a Republican in "My Sex Buddy." While Laverne is known to be conservative in many aspects, she believes in global warming (compared to Elliot) and does not state explicitly that she is Republican.
  • It is revealed that Laverne has a nephew who is in the Army.
  • In the cafeteria scene you can see the anti-war oriented sitting on the left side, while the war supporters are sitting on the right.
  • Michael Weston is a long time friend of Zach Braff's and former roommate.

Dr. Kelso shakes Ted's head like a Magic 8-ball

  • Sam Lloyd did his own stunts during the "Human Magic 8-Ball" sequence and the sequence after that, where he pratfalls onto a rack.
  • Although "The Iraq War for Dummies" is not a real book, there are numerous other war-related "...for Dummies" books.
  • Elliot wears scrubs for the first time since "My Changing Ways."
  • When Dr. Kelso is talking to the nurses, he references the song "I Want You to Want Me" by Cheap Trick. This was also the song playing during J.D's first fantasy in "My First Day".
  • The Janitor tells J.D. that "We should be looking for Bin Laden in Pakistan", which is indeed where he was found in 2011. The YouTube clip of this scene went viral after the news broke.